Eva is 18 months old today. A week ago we attempted to write down the words she knew by now, and this is what we came up with. For the most part, they are in the order that she first spoke them, starting at about a year of age. And for the record, she signed “please” long before these words and still uses the sign today.

—”Uh-oh!” (which is usually “on purpose” after dropping her sippy off the high chair, etc)
—”Mama” (though is sadly now “Mom” after listening to older sibs say it that way)
—”Dada” (though until recently, forgotten for the last several months—Dad has been “MOM!”)
—”Ti-koo” (“Thank you”—LOVE that this was her fourth word and is still used often to give us something or with an outstretched hand if she wishes to have something)
—”der-ygo” (“There you go”—while giving us something)
—”dis” (“this”—pointing to something or asking for it)
—”doe” (“door”—usually followed by a huge push to shut the door, as she knows we are about to keep her out of the bathroom or back porch)
—”tash” (“trash”—loves to deposit her diaper in the trash, or other small things she finds on the floor….are we making her OCD??)
—”bouw” (“ball” or balloon)
—”shoosh” (“shoes”—this girl LOVES her shoes!)
—”sok-sok” (“socks”—this girl takes her socks off immediately if not tied down by the shoes)
—”daw-daw” (usually with a squeal meaning “dog”, or squirrel or anything else remotely resembling a small animal—she is SO excited by them! This is also not to be confused with “da da” though they sound an awful lot alike)
—”hi!” (mostly says “hi” with arms waving excitedly as she spots an animal or a small child)
—”hey-yo” (“hello” with hand to her cheek when she thinks someone’s phone is ringing)
—”go-way!” (sadly learned this from older sibs, though mostly only means it as a statement of her “bigness”)
—”di-po” (“diaper”)
—”eyez” (“eyes” as she pokes hers or someone else’s)
—”bye!”
—”bye-a-way!” (when she is sticking her hand through long sleeve or in a puppet, or a shoe )
—”yes”
—”baby”
—”you” (when pointing to a picture of a family member)
—”bi-bo” (“Bible”—my personal fav! She loves her toddler room Bible but as of right now, any book might be called a “bi-bo”)

To me, the one word that is glaringly absent is “no!” which makes my heart happy, though I know I have probably just jinxed myself. She does nod her her head “no” while staring at the CD’s that she is not supposed to pull down on the floor….

Aidan’s list of words is just the opposite of Eva’s—words/phrases that he no longer says or is being phased out as he learns English. But I don’t want to forget them. Again, for the most part, they are in chronological order with the first ones being some of his first English phrases.

—”dis-a-way, no is cold”
—”hot? no, smallbite hot” (meaning it was “warm.” We were regularly telling him to take a “small bite” of his food, so to him, anything small was “smallbite”)
—”Elli boy?” ….crawls under our dog Elli…. “Oh! Elli girl!”
—”dis is no”
—”up-a-stairs”
—anything that started with a “p” he used an “f”: “fasta,” “fotty,” “fee-j’s,” “fatient,” “ficture,” “fockets”
—”no is hot”
—”Aidan no yum” (when he didn’t like something)
—”min?” (we think that is an Amharic word for “what?”)
—in a Christmas song that said “Go Santa,” he said “Hosanna”—not the Bible “hosanna” but his hero friend from the transition house in Ethiopia “Hosanna” who now lives with his new family in California
—”es-coo-bed-er” (combonation of “excuse me”/”scoot over”/”scooby do”)
—”es-cuse-a-me”
—”I no care” (didn’t mean that, he meant he didn’t “know”/”understand”)
—”all of us” (for “everything,” not just “us”)
—”salsage” (sausage)
—”may I scuse please?” (our kids say that before getting up from dinner table)
—”oh, same same” (to show two things are the same)
—”cer-e-o” (meaning “cereal” but combining it with “cheerios” that Eva always ate)
—”daddy, let’s go?” (asking if dad was leaving for work, not asking to go with)
—”zeeper” (zipper)
—”sleepery” (slippery)
—asked me on more than one occasion about God/heaven: “Jesus UP?” “EAT???” (wondering if we eat in heaven—that’s important to him!)
—letting us know he washed his hands for dinner: “my hands yes wash yer hands” or “I’m wash yer hands”
—when someone mentioned I was white, he said “Mommy no white—mommy red and green” (referring to my fair but blotchy red-headed skin and freckles)
—”ha-va-la” (when the kids played the “hot lava” game)
—”watch num-pany” (kids show Electric Company)
—”yes you can’t”
—”jumpoline”
—”I popped my chink!” (combination of chin/neck, meant neck)
—”I forgotmember” (still says this for “forgot/can’t remember”)

And here are a few Amharic words that we don’t want to forget and even the other kids still use occasionally: amaseganalo (thank you), sak/saki (“smile” for a the camera to a boy/girl), tarra-gaga (be gentle), furrus (horse), timert-bate (school), woosha (dog), ambesah (lion), malala (corn), abet? (what?/huh?)

If you’ve managed to read this far, I hope you’ve gotten a laugh or two!

When I was making the cake the night before, it all started to crumble as I was frosting it (thought I’d try the Aldi cake mix since their brownies are so good—won’t do that again!). While I was trying to come up with a clever way to cover the crumbles (volcano? waterfall?), I realized none of it was going to stay together. It came to me that some people make those cake balls…. wonder if that would work? So I dumped the whole cake and frosting into the mixer and tried my hand at cake balls. I decided to make large balls and cover them with yogurt bark mixed with yellow food coloring, and small balls covered with melted chocolate. I froze them for a while and then stuck them together with toothpicks to make fireflies—did you recognize what they were?? As I was rolling up the messy chocolate balls and putting them on a cookie sheet, I laughed to myself that they looked like poop balls! Michael REALLY wanted me to leave them that way—he said it would be the best.party.ever. for the 9 year old boys if they were served poop balls! Maybe next year….

So this is a classic example of making lemonade when you are served lemons! (or firefly butts when your cake falls apart!) Oh, and the salt shakers were the containers to put the fireflies in. They all had a great time!

Obviously, I know nothing of Aidan’s birth, except that there were probably no doctors and maybe not even many visitors. There may have been more grief than joy because his birth mom worried how she was going to care for him alone. I do know, from meeting her, that she lost friends that day because many deserted her in her shame of having a child with no husband. Adding a child to her life made her more alone than ever.

I also know it probably wasn’t five years ago today that Aidan was born. Our dentist believes Aidan is at least 6 1/2, maybe even almost 7 years old—the same as Maura. But the adoption specialist says she rarely recommends changing birth dates because children from other countries have so much to catch up on. So Aidan will start Kindergarten in the fall as a 5-year-old/6-year-old, which will not be much different than the rest of his class.

So though Aidan is not actually 5 today, there are two things I am reflecting on today. One is that I do know that exactly one year ago today (which is probably how Aidan got his official birthday), Aidan and Eva’s birth mom did the most unselfish thing any mom could do. She put her two beautiful children’s needs ahead of her own and brought them to the court to ask that they be given to someone who could care for them as she no longer could. There are many other choices she could have made that day, but she chose life for her two children. She had no idea where they would go and had to trust in her God that he would be true to His Word and take care of the fatherless. After our brief conversation with this beautiful lady (through two translators), we could tell that a huge burden had been lifted from her. She finally smiled and knew in her heart that she had made the right decision, and her shame was lifted. She knew that she had made the most courageous decision of her life, and those who shamed her could not take that away from her. She knew that her children would be well taken care of and loved and have a chance in life.

The second reflection is that though it is not Aidan’s actual fifth birthday, it is his first birthday celebration! The first time friends gathered around him, the first time he opened more presents than he could count, the first time he was embarrassed as people sang Happy Birthday to him, and probably the first time he’s had a family who celebrated his birth. I pray we all grow closer and closer together as God works out the sometimes painful, but beautiful, process of grafting us together.

Here are a few pictures of Aidan’s special day:

Please listen to this song:

One Less

I’m late–gotta go! Thanks for the prayers! We love you all!

When we got back to the Guest House, Rachel Miller showed us a song by Straight No Chaser called “The 12 Days of Christmas” that is quite funny! It has an allusion to the 80′s Toto song “Africa” which I actually downloaded on my ipod before our first trip for court. Thought you might enjoy it as well! I hope the YouTube link works—not sure since I’m trying to do it from Africa!!

Straight No Chaser – \”The 12 Days of Christmas\”

On a deeper note, I want to share something about being here on Christmas that I have not told many people before now. I have held onto a promise I felt God made to me a year ago—not sharing it but with a couple people for fear of putting words in God’s mouth or looking silly myself to think God would speak to me. Last Christmas, 2009, I was decorating our tree with my ipod earplugs in, listening to praise music—it was such a meaningful time for me. It was the evening of the last day of one of our fasts about our adoption and I was not hungry at all, except for the hunger I had to praise our faithful Redeemer! I was not thinking about our adoption at all at the time, and yet in the middle of it all, out of the blue I felt like God told me that we would be celebrating Christmas with our Ethiopian kids next year. What?? Really! OK, well, we’ll see what happens. Then when it was coming down to the wire, I really thought we would have the Dec 22 Embassy date and be home in time for Christmas. As time went on, I started to really worry that wouldn’t happen. I think one of the main reasons was because I was afraid God wouldn’t follow through with His promise, or that I was crazy and not really hearing His voice after all. Finally, I came to a place where I could trust Him no matter what, like Abraham with Isaac—that God would provide even if I didn’t understand how (see my earlier blog post when I finally let go of this worry).

Now I understand. We DID celebrate Christmas with our Ethiopian children! Not in my myopic thinking of having it in America, but we celebrated with them in THEIR homeland! It was such an unforgettable experience!! I had to hold tears back much of the evening of the Christmas Eve kids’ service with the children at the Transition Home. I SO wish we could publish the little pageant that they did—I have never seen anything like it and I have seen a lot of Christmas programs in my lifetime! Rachel Miller and I kept looking at each other through wet eyes, incredulous of the moment we were sharing, in awe of God’s timing and grace to allow us to experience it, and thankful that God, in His incredible mercy, saw past our complaining and worrying and begging to get our kids sooner, in order that we could experience something “even greater than we could ask or imagine,” and so that God could be glorified!

As most of you know, there is some trepidation for this trip in that we never truly received “confirmation” of our Embassy appointment on Jan 5.  We were told there “should not be a problem” and that it happens that way sometimes (see our past blog entry).  We have to acknowledge in writing that we are taking a risk in coming, yet we still have to come or we will miss our Jan 5 appointment.  It is our choice, but do we really have one??

Then, right before we passed through airport security in Peoria on Friday, we got a call from our agency to tell us that there is another piece of paper that the Embassy wants that is in Ethiopia and “should not be a problem to get on Monday or so.”  So even more turmoil in the pit of my stomach.  I’m a pretty practical person, for the most part, and common sense tells us this is a “crazy” way to spend our time, energy, and money if we don’t even know for sure how things will go with the Embassy.  But we walked through security and got on the plane.

We flew up out of the stormy darkness (literally—that was the day we had tornadoes and 60 degree weather on New Year’s Eve!) and above the clouds into the beautiful sunshine.  I got my Bible out to continue in my reading in Isaiah at chapter 60.  I noticed that the sun was beaming through the window right onto the pages.  Then I read this:

“Arise shine, for your light has come,
and the glory of the Lord rises upon you.
See, darkness covers the earth
and thick darkness is over the peoples,
but the Lord rises upon you
and his glory appears over you.
Nations will come to your light,
and kings to the brightness of your dawn.” (Isa 60:1-3)

I thought, “Oh, that’s cool.  Thank you, God, for this special little gift of sunshine in my life.”  But then I continued:

“Lift up your eyes and look about you;
All assemble and come to you;
your sons come from afar,
and your daughters are carried on the arm.
Then you will look and be radiant,
your heart will throb and swell with joy;
the wealth on the seas will be brought to you,
to you the riches of the nations will come.” (Isa 60:4-5)

Tears I wasn’t expecting came streaming down my face, as they are right now as I write this.  Who am I, that God chooses to give such specific comfort to??  Some may doubt that this was a “Word from God,” but I believe that He was reminding me of his promise that he made to me years ago and He is continuing to work out now.  He will see it through—He is forever faithful!  So I will not give in to fear or doubt him.  I will trust him, even when things don’t look like they are going like I thought they would or should.  I believe that, still in His timing, we will bring our “son home from this far land” and our “daughter in my arms”!  “Joy will radiate out of me and my heart will swell” as “many will assemble” and come to us at the airport (and later at home) after we bring our little “riches from across the seas” home forever!

Thank you, Lord for your Word of Encouragement to me!  I trust you will do YOUR will in our lives and that no one, not even government officials, can thwart your plans because, as you say at the end of this chapter in Isaiah:

“I am the Lord;
in its time I will do this swiftly.” (Isa 60:22b)

Thanks to all who are praying and following us on this journey.  May you be encouraged as well of His eternal faithfulness.  I do ask, please, that you would pray that we will find out Monday morning that all is well with the Embassy.  I will trust Him no matter what happens, but I will be able to let my heart truly live this experience better knowing that we are bringing these children home at the end of this week!  Tomorrow afternoon we are supposed to go get them and they will be with us for the remainder of our stay here in Ethiopia.  But it would hurt my heart if something went wrong with the paperwork and we were not able to keep them after they lived with us for a week!  Even if it was a matter of timing and we had to come back again, I can’t imagine how that would affect the kids, feeling abandoned once again.  So it is difficult to let my heart fully attach when there is the slightest possibility that we might not bring them home this week, and mostly difficult to think what that would do in the kids’ hearts.  I am not doubting God’s power and will, but I cannot proclaim to fully know how He will enact His will either.  Whatever happens, we pray He is glorified!

As I continued in my Isaiah reading later on another flight, it seemed fitting that I was next in Isa 61:

“The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,
because the Lord has anointed me
to preach good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners,
to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor…” (Isa 61:1-2)

I know these Holy Scriptures were written to the prophet Isaiah, not to the prophet Suzanne.  I know there is context to these verses that goes far beyond what we are doing in a small home in a little town in central Illinois.  But I also believe God’s Word is “living and active, sharper than any double-edged sword,” and it has pierced my heart throughout this journey. These are not words He has spoken only to the Gowin family.  It is clear all throughout Scripture that it is His divine will that His people lift up and care for the poor, the brokenhearted, and the prisoners, as in Isaiah 61 above.  God may or may not be calling everyone of His people to adopt orphans, but He IS calling everyone of them to feed the hungry, give water to the thirsty, invite in the strangers, clothe the needy, look after the sick, and visit and encourage prisoners who are in all types of slavery (see Matt 25:31-46).  It is my prayer that this year, 2011, will be the Year of the Lord’s Favor—that God will glorify Himself and do countless acts of justice and mercy throughout the world by working through the lives of all of His people.

We leave in just two days (Fri, Dec 31) to fly to Ethiopia to pick up our kids and bring them home forever!!  No, we still don’t have “official confirmation” that Jan 5 is our Embassy date, but our paperwork has been submitted and we understand that “no news is good news.”  Apparently, the Embassy doesn’t always get official word back about the appointment until right before the date which, by then, is when most of the families are already on their way to Ethiopia!  So we are going in huge faith but are told by our agency that there should be no problem.  (However, we are still asked to acknowledge in our emailed flight itinerary to our agency that we know that we are taking a risk in going without confirmation….. )  I am at peace though.  This is what I read in Scripture the morning we found out that we might not hear confirmation:

^“Depart, depart, go out from there!
…you who carry the vessels of the LORD.
But you will not leave in haste or go in flight;
for the LORD will go before you,
the God of Israel will be your rear guard.” (Isa 52:11-12)

The Lord is going before us and guarding us from behind, and He will protect us as we carry His “precious vessels” home!!

So please keep us in your prayers!  We fly out of Peoria, to Minneapolis, to Amsterdam, and then to Ethiopia—will arrive on Saturday and hopefully that day pick up our kids forever!  We will have our Embassy appointment on Wed, Jan 5, and pick up their visas the following Friday.  We will not leave Ethiopia till the next Tues, Jan 11 because staying a few extra days cut out a huge chunk of money for our airfare!  So we have several open days in our trip to play, visit museums or landmarks, visit orphanages, etc.  We are taking Erin, our 10-year-old daughter, with us.  This will be a life-changing experience for her and she is so excited!  She will also be a great help with the kids.

One other great thing about this trip is that we will get to celebrate Ethiopian Christmas with all the kids at the Transition Home on Friday Jan 7!  The other families (Smith, Hammons, Miller, Grant) and us were asked to bring Christmas decorations and stocking stuffers.  Though we were initially disappointed not to have our kids home for Christmas, we are so excited to spend Ethiopian Christmas with Aidan and Eva in their own homeland!

Our KLM/Delta flights are scheduled to get in to Peoria on Wed, Jan 12 at 3:50pm.  Our friend Gena Monical-Ruhl has graciously offered to drive the Mt. Pulaski Christian Church bus to come pick us up and bring friends and family to the airport to meet us!  So if you are interested in joining us on that glorious day, please contact me (sgowin@gmail.com) before we leave or Chantell Mills (chantellmills@gmail.com) after that.  The bus will be at our home at 2:15pm that day to gather people for the trip.  There will be some spots open on the bus, or others can meet at our home and caravan or go straight to the airport.

Thanks to everyone who has followed us, prayed for us, given to us, encouraged us, and loved on us through this long journey!  You are such a blessing!  Our biggest prayer is that God is glorified through His work in our lives and that many others are able to experience His amazing grace and redemption in their own lives as well!

“Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by name; you are mine.” (Isa 43:1)

To be honest, I haven’t been very worried during most of this journey.  I have known that I can trust my God who has led us this far, and I trust His timing and His provision.  Until now.  It’s actually really bugging me that I am letting a little thing (a very common thing, actually) like not passing court the first time, bother me.  But here are my honest worries:

• that we won’t pass in time to get the kids home before Christmas
• if/when we do pass, we will have such a short time to get flights that we won’t be able to sit together with our new kids (plus Erin) on the long flight home (not to mention the 3x cost of airfare at Christmas!)—you know, a mommy needs to keep all her little chickadees safe under her wings!
• that we won’t pass at all—feeling forgotten by the social agency that was supposed to have written the last piece we need to pass court (the same agency that has written numerous other letters since our court date)

I know in my head that God has it all under control, that His timing is best, that He is powerful enough to take care of a piece of paper and some plane tickets, and that this is HIS story to write, not ours.  I KNOW it.  But I’ve had a hard time letting go of the control (that I don’t have anyway!) and letting my heart be OK with that.

This week God has been impressing some things on me that have helped me to let go.

• Last Sunday we sang a song at church that reminded me that God has “overcome.”  He has already “breathed” this story, intended somehow for His glory, and we are simply His ink, writing it down.
• Rom 8:28: An oldie but goodie—”And we know that IN ALL THINGS God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”
• Gen 22: In faith, Abraham obeyed God and took his only son Isaac, the one through whom God had promised blessing to all subsequent generations, to sacrifice him on the mountain.  When Isaac asked where the lamb was for the burnt offering, Abraham answered, “The Lord will provide.”  God took Abraham down to the wire before he stopped Abraham from sacrificing Isaac and provided a ram instead.  Abraham renamed that place “The Lord Will Provide”—a phrase that later became an important name for God.
• Dan 3 (from church today): Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego knew they would be thrown into the fiery furnace if they did not worship the statue as the King ordered, but this was their response: “If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us from your hand, O king.  But even if he does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.”

So it finally sunk in to my heart today.  My God WILL rescue and deliver our children to us, in His timing and by His method.  But if He does not (worst case scenario), I will still trust in His faithfulness and redemption and will trust Him with my life and my heart.  To quote a song from today, whether “the sun is shining down on me” or I’m a “road marked with suffering,” “I will choose to say: Blessed be Your Name!”

In my Beth Moore study of Esther this week, she providentially reminded me, “God’s plan for Israel hadn’t fallen through the cracks between Testaments.”  During the time between the OT and the NT when God seemed silent, He was, in fact, doing a major work behind the scenes to prepare the world for His most glorious work—the birth of His Son!  Similarly, during this silence between our two trips to Ethiopia, it is easy to wonder if God has forgotten us and our court issues.  But I truly now KNOW that even in His silence, I can trust that He is preparing a glorious work for us—the adoption of our son and daughter!  Hold on tight, Babes, “God Will Provide” is providing a way!

While there, the Braun’s graciously brought Aidan and Eva some care packages we sent a couple months ago, including a couple of those recordable Hallmark books where we record ourselves reading the books so that they can hear our voices.  Here are some of the Braun’s sweet remarks about our kids:

Your kids are so precious!!!!! ….I read your books from cover to cover with your kids individually.  Aidan loved it!  He was so surprised when he heard your voices, and grinned when Yonas told him that it was his new mommy and daddy.  He also loved the bubble maker.  I have the best pics of him.  He is excited that you will be here next week.  Your daughter is beautiful and very happy!  You will be blessed by both of your new kids….Thanks for letting me take care packages for you!  It was a joy to spend time with your children and love on them!

We are so thankful that the Braun’s got to spend time with our babies and tell them that we are coming very soon!  I know it is going to be an amazing week and that God is going to grow our hearts closer to Him, to each other, and to our kids during this week!  I am expecting great things from our great God!!!

Our third set of care packages