Just a quick note to say that Suz and I are back home in the States. Looking forward to picking up our first three children from school in a few minutes. Long day of travel, bittersweet goodbyes yesterday but a good and blessed week overall. More to come. Thanks to all for your faithful love and prayers.
Saturday in Addis Ababa
Today’s schedule was somewhat lighter than the past few days. We spent some time at the transition home with the kids this morning. Eva slept on me most of the time while Suzanne and Aidan played soccer and painted with watercolors. He also loves to hang upside down on the jungle gym in the yard.
After lunch, we drove up Entoto Mountain with two of the other families. Entoto Mountain overlooks Addis Ababa and features St. Mary’s church and a palace built by King Menelik II in the late 19th century. Along the mountain road, women carried bundles of eucalyptus branches on their backs to sell at the market at the base of the mountain. The wood is sold for firewood. After they’ve sold their stock, they buy supplies and then head back up the mountain. Below is a photo of our group outside the palace and Suzanne and I in front of the church.
This evening we had dinner at the guest house with our friends. The guest house has a patio on the roof from which the surrounding neighborhoods can be seen. Just to the east is a street which we’ve nicknamed the Fashion District (one other dad here called it the Mannequin Graveyard): nearly every shop sells some manner of clothing items, and there are a few restaurants, cafes, medicine shops, and other stores as well. Right across the street is a kindergarten and the KVI orphanage which we visited yesterday is just around the corner. Interspersed throughout are homes, some well built and surrounded by walls and gates, others simple corrugated metal shacks. The city itself is surrounded by mountains. The two images below show a view to the east of the guest house and then another at sunset across the rooftops to the west.
Tomorrow we’re attending church services here in Addis. Appropriately, it happens to be Orphan Sunday. Our agency, America World Adoption Agency, is asking Christians to pray that God will continue to:
- Protect orphans around the world and shower them with grace and mercy.
- Move on the hearts of families to adopt and be actively involved in bringing hope to the fatherless.
- Raise up advocates on behalf of vulnerable children.
Would you join us in this effort?
If you happen to be in or near Lincoln tonight, consider attending the Adoption Rocks Coffee House at Jefferson Street Christian Church at 7:00 PM. Plan on an evening of music, good coffee, and an opportunity to celebrate the blessing of adoption.
Court update 2
We’re still waiting.
In order for our case to proceed to the next step, the ministry of women’s affairs (MOWA) needs to submit a recommendation letter to the court here. As I mentioned yesterday, this should have been in our file prior to our court date. The AWAA staff has learned, though, that MOWA is backlogged with adoption cases and claims they don’t have time to write the letter. The judge has affirmed that we have been approved to adopt pending receipt of the MOWA letter. The AWAA coordinator will continue to advocate for us but, for now, MOWA has stated that they will submit the letter by November 27. This would push our embassy date to late December or early January; we’d prefer an early December date.
How you can help: please pray with us that MOWA will get our letter submitted sooner rather than later, if indeed that is God’s timing.
As for the rest of our day, this morning we visited two orphanages, Kingdom Vision International and Kids Care, that partner with AWAA. Each orphanage cares for about 40 children, most of whom have come to Addis Ababa from southern Ethiopia. Severe poverty is a constant problem in the region and parents are simply unable to support their children. We came loaded with donations of baby blankets, cloth diapers, formula, and bedding. Other families brought things for the kids to play with–balloons, inflatable beach balls, and soap bubbles. The kids enjoyed the attention and gifts and the nannies appreciated the donations. Below is a photo of one of the workers at the Kids Care.
This afternoon we were back at the transition home to spend time with Aidan and Eva. Eva has had a chest cold the last several days but has still been pleasant and smiley. Pray that she’ll get over the cold quickly. Aidan and I played a matching card game with several of his friends for over an hour–they all had a great time.
We likely won’t have any further news on the MOWA letter until Monday, and we’ll be flying home on Monday night. Thanks again for your prayers.
Court update 1
We went before the judge at court today here in Addis Ababa to learn that… we’ll have to wait at least another day for news to report.
The lobby outside the judge’s office was crowded and Suzanne and I, the first of the four AWAA families, were called in earlier than our 11:00 AM appointment. The primary procedural reason for our visit to Ethiopia–this meeting with the adoption judge–lasted less than two minutes. We answered a few questions about our adoption training, our current children’s feelings about the adoption, and our understanding of the irrevocability of the adoption. That was it. We and the other families were told that a critical piece of documentation from the Ethiopian ministry of women’s affairs (MOWA) that should have reached the court today had not yet arrived by the time of our appointment. Because the judge needed that information to completely assess our cases, she was unable to say definitively whether we’d passed.
The AWAA staff was told this afternoon that we’d have to wait until Monday for a final answer. We learned later that one of the AWAA staff members would visit the court tomorrow to see if she could get our status before the weekend.
At this point, then, we have no news. Suzanne and I are extremely grateful for those of you who were up early to pray for us. Please continue praying for us and the other adoptive families here. We’ll share news as soon as we’re able.
Besides our court appointment today, we also packed in a tour of a coffee factory, some time at the transition home, and a visit with the birth parents after court. During this visit, we were able to ask some questions of the children’s birth mother and learn a few more details about them and her story. In our case, we had to have two translators at the table since she spoke neither English nor Amharic and our translator didn’t speak her language (there are over 80 languages spoken in Ethiopia). I’m not sure what may have been added or lost in the translation from English to Amharic to her language and vice versa. She expressed that she wanted the children to go to a good school and to have a chance for a good future. We assured her that we would provide them with those things and that they would be raised in the church and loved in our home. See seemed very shy and somewhat detached while we spoke but brightened up when we gave her a small photo album containing photos of her children, our kids, as well as some photos of Suzanne and me with Aidan and Eva. Before she left we made a photo of the three of us together which I quickly printed with a portable printer and added to her album. We believe she left today feeling that, in the midst of very difficult circumstances, she made a good choice for her children.
Lord God, help our family to faithfully steward the children whom this mother has entrusted to us and bless her also.
Court time update
Our court time has been moved to 11:00 AM in Ethiopia tomorrow. Not sure why but that’s when we and three other families with us will go before the judge (one family had court today and PASSED–excellent). For those back home in Illinois, that’s 3:00 AM. On the very outside chance that you’re awake at that hour, your prayers would be most welcome.
Thanks for all those who left encouraging words here and on facebook. Today has been an emotional one but God is blessing us in ways we could not have imagined. These four families here with us have become fellow companions in our journey and we’re grateful for them.
Again, court time is 11:00 AM in Ethiopia, 3:00 AM in Illinois. More to come…
Meetcha Day
Today Suzanne and I finally got to meet Aidan and Eva. How was it? The photo above pretty much says it all but I’ll describe our experience anyway.
We arrived, eager and nervous, with two other families at the transition home this morning. Since the other families had already met their children the day before, we handed off our cameras to them while the AWAA staff fetched the kids. Aidan came running out of the house with a huge smile on his face and threw his arms around me. I’d been concerned about this moment: how would he feel about us? Would we connect with each other? I needn’t have worried. He’s a fantastic boy, sociable, affectionate, and full of energy. The other families who’d met him before us commented that he seems like a great kid and we were blessed to learn why. After spending a few minutes with Aidan, the staff brought out Eva to us. She’s a beautiful tiny bit of a girl who smiled easily and enjoyed snuggling into Suzanne.
We spent a couple hours at the transition home this morning, playing with the kids and taking photos of each other and the families with their children. We went out for lunch then came back to the transition home to see the kids some more and meet with the doctor and psychologist there. No significant problems to report at this time, for which we are grateful.
Aidan and I played soccer, kicked balls, played with cars, blew bubbles–fun stuff–while Suzanne and Eva cuddled together today. It was a magnificent time, enjoying these new children of ours.
Thank you again for all of your prayers and support. Our next hurdle is court on Thursday (Nov 4)–please continue to pray that we pass. We’ll see the judge after 1:30 PM in Ethiopia (that’s 5:30 AM in Illinois in case you happen to be up). As an added incentive, we can post photos after we pass since the children will then legally be part of our family.
Today was truly full of amazing blessings for us. We have so enjoyed the children and the other adoptive families here. The AWAA staff has been a delight as well.
Thanks again–much more to come.
On the eve of our departure
It is now the evening before Suzanne and I leave for our court date appointment in Ethiopia. Our first three children are all in bed now. We’ve spent most of the day packing: Suz and I are bringing a carry on and two checked bags each, full to the airlines’ allowance. Why do we need so much stuff? It’s probably not what you think. In fact, we could probably get everything we need for the week into three small bags–and that includes a bag dedicated to camera gear 🙂
We’re bringing care packages to several waiting children from their stateside soon-to-be families. We’re packing clothes, baby items, gifts, and all manner of other necessities for kids and staff and the transition home and orphanages. Boxes and boxes of toothpaste and toothbrushes, formula, baby wipes, medicines, cloth diapers. And Suzanne has done a fantastic job of getting everything in. With lots of empty bags for the trip home, we’ll have space to bring gifts for family and friends. Coffee anyone?
During our visit, we’ll get to meet and spend time with our children for the first time. These are days we’ve anticipated for months–it seems strange that they are finally here. This chapter of our story that began two years ago is coming to an end, all so that a new one can begin.
Many thanks and blessings to our family and friends who’ve supported us up to this point. We could not have gotten this far without you, and there are two kids on the other side of the world who we pray will be blessed immeasurably because of your love, encouragement, and gifts. Thank you.
Thank you.
In the upcoming days, please pray that our court appointment on Thursday, Nov. 4, goes well. We’ve been told that the appointments are brief–maybe 10 minutes–and that we have about a 75% chance of passing. If we pass, there’s a good chance we’d return to Ethiopia in December to bring home the kids. Immediately following our court appointment, though, we may have an opportunity to meet the children’s birthmother. This could be a very emotional meeting–pray for grace and peace. Please pray that God continues to open our eyes and move our hearts and hands (and by “our,” I mean the Church: all of us) to meet needs of “the least of these.”
If you’d like to follow along over the next several days, look for the “Subscribe” box in the sidebar to the right. You can have updates sent directly to your email inbox–easy. We’ll do our best to update the site during our trip as we’re able.
Thanks again–we’ll be in touch soon.
Helping with Harvest
Our friends Tim and Connie own a farm just west of Lincoln. Tim and his brothers are the fourth generation of their family to farm on this land in central Illinois, their great-grandfather having emigrated here from Ireland in the 1850s. “In those days, it was either leave or starve,” Tim told me. In fact, Tim’s brother still lives on the property that was originally owned by his great-grandfather.
They have been in the corn and soybean fields 12-14 hours a day for the past several weeks bringing in his crops and we had the opportunity to ride along in the combine yesterday. Tim was gracious (and trusting) enough to let each of us take a turn at driving the combine, too. Though it was a fun novelty for us, I imagine it becomes wearying to do it day in and day out for weeks on end. Still, Tim loves his work and considers himself grateful and blessed to be able to do it. We’re grateful to have had a chance to join him on this new learning experience for us.
Yes, We’re Crazy
A number of friends have asked us how things are going with the adoption process. Since we received our referral in July, we’ve been in a holding pattern. We’ll need to travel to Ethiopia for a court date but court has been closed in August and September. We expect, though, within the next week or so we’ll get a call assigning us a date and Suzanne and I will then likely travel sometime later in October. That’s our best guess.
This intermission, though, has given me time to reflect. When people learn or ask about our adoption, responses vary from “That’s awesome!” to “Wow, you guys are so brave–I could never do that” to “Are you sure? That sounds crazy.” There’s a wide gray swath on the continuum between bravery and foolishness; most days, I’m in that gray area.
Our church is going through a series on love and, as a congregation, we’re reading Francis Chan’s book Crazy Love: Overwhelmed by a Relentless God. In the foreword, musician Chris Tomlin writes:
Crazy Love is the perfect title for this book. When Jesus was asked, “What is the greatest commandment?” he responded with “Love.”
“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” (Matt 22.37-40)
As Francis so brilliantly illustrates, the life Jesus calls us to is absolute craziness to the world. Sure, it’s fine and politically correct to believe in God, but to really love Him is a whole different story. Yeah, it’s nice and generous to give to the needy at Christmas or after some disaster, but to sacrifice your own comfort and welfare for another may look like madness to a safe and undisturbed world.
As I look back, our entire journey as a family has involved some manner of madness at each step. We had to undergo fertility treatments to have our first child and there was a real possibility that we could have had multiples. Instead, Erin was born eight weeks premature and Suzanne nearly died in the process.
The second and third pregnancies did not go well either–in both instances, Suzanne was debilitatingly sick for months. When we came to the hospital for delivery each time, the nurses remembered us from our first experience and looked at us with shock: “Are you crazy?” During that last pregnancy, Suzanne’s mom stayed with us for seven weeks. I was working full-time and in grad school and taking care of our other two children; we would not have survived that time without her help. Do we regret the journey? Of course not and we have three wonderful children.
Now we stand on the doorstep of inviting two more children into our lives, children from another mother on the other side of the world. We have not entered into this on a whim. Suzanne and I prayed through the fall of 2008 for God’s direction about this decision. We then spent nine months completing paperwork, being interviewed by social workers, attending training, reading books, being scrutinized by state, federal, and international governments. We will invite these two children into our not-so-very-big home on our not-so-very-big income. We are giving up our established routines and rhythms and some of the few comforts that we enjoy to stretch our lives and budget further. There are undoubtedly challenges in front of us that we can’t imagine. Frankly, it doesn’t make sense for us to adopt.
But we believe that the love of God compels us. I’m aware of how unlovable I can be, and even then I fail to grasp the depth of my own darkness. And yet God reaches into that darkness at tremendous cost to Himself and gives me hope and a future. Crazy–that’s the kind of love that God has for us. It’s a love that defies common sense and reason. When that kind of love embraces a person, it’s not uncommon for unusual decisions to follow.
***
In the film As Good As It Gets, Jack Nicholson portrays Melvin Udall, a self-absorbed obsessive-compulsive misanthrope who also happens to be a best-selling writer of romance novels (go figure). In one scene he dismissively tells a visitor to his apartment, “Sell crazy someplace else, we’re all stocked up here.” When it comes to crazy love, though, there’s always more room somewhere on the shelf.
Do our plans to adopt make sense? No–I readily admit that and can’t justify our decision. Do we know that adopting is risky, that we can’t predict how our new children will fit into our family? You bet, and at times this is scary. Seriously: who goes around looking for ways to make their lives more complex, forgoing what is known and safe and comfortable? I don’t. But in this case, I think God–who loves us relentlessly–has called us to demonstrate His love in a crazy way. That’s the best explanation I can offer. I trust, however, that if I play my part to the best of my ability, God will be faithful.
Giving in to God’s crazy love is dangerous and will lead you to into an unpredictable, possibly uncomfortable life. What, though, is the alternative? Consider that Jesus was often accused of saying crazy things. On one occasion he told a crowd that if they wanted to be God’s followers, they’d have to eat his flesh and drink his blood. Unsurprisingly, the crowd found this hard to accept and many walked away. When Jesus asked his closest disciples if they were going to leave as well, his friend Peter responded, “Master, to whom would we go? You have the words of real life, eternal life. We’ve already committed ourselves, confident that you are the Holy One of God.” Indeed: to whom would I go?
So, yes, we’re crazy–but only because the love of God is crazier than ours.
Saying “yes” to the referral
As Suzanne wrote the other day, we received our adoption referral from AWAA at the end of last week. Yesterday we signed the referral acceptance to say, “yes, we will accept these children into our family.”
Suzanne put together a “care package” last night for the kids as well. Another AWAA couple is making their way to Ethiopia soon and they will bring the gifts over for us. Included are some small toys and things plus a note from us for each of the kids.
We were also blessed yesterday when Suzanne’s friend Bethany stopped over with a couple of balloons to help us celebrate. Thanks, Bethany, for your thoughtfulness.
