Goodbye Elli

Today was a hard day.  It marks the end of an era.  Our almost 14-year-old dog Elli has gone to doggy heaven, or wherever good little doggies (and maybe even the naughty ones) go.  The vet said she is now running free in Creation as God intended it.  I don’t have the theological answers, though I was asked several times by my kiddos.  What I do know is that God created her with purpose, loves her as He does all His creation, and is taking care of her now.  She is no longer in pain.  Yet even with the seven of us, our house feels much more quiet and empty tonight.

So I need to write a post on the passing of our old puppy who was, by many standards, another family member.  I realized recently that there has hardly been a day in the lives of most of our kids that she has not been present.  The older two kids skipped school today and are still having trouble sleeping tonight.  The middle two are sad and bring it up often, but will have an easier time moving on.  And Eva, she just keeps seeing someone cry and exclaims, “Erin sad?…. Tissue!  Be right back!”  Then she trots off, brings back a wadded tissue, and insists on wiping eyes and making people blow. “There y’go.”

Elli was our first “child.”  She was a black labrador we purchased from a breeder at 8 weeks old.  We knew labs were about the best and safest kind of dog we could get for our future family, so that is how we made our choice.  I had planned on naming her “Angel” because I wanted her to watch over us.  But the night before we went to pick her up from the breeder, I read in Luke where John the Baptist was foretold to come in the Spirit of Elijah, to prepare the way of the Lord.  I knew our dog was going to help prepare us for the rest of our children, so I chose the female version of Eli: Elli.  (You knew there had to be a spiritual influence on the naming of even our dog, didn’t you??)  As you will see below, “Angel” wouldn’t have been the most appropriate name for her anyway. 🙂

So Elli has indeed done a lot to prepare us for the rearing of mischievous small children. 🙂  A habit I started long ago, to constantly make sure the bathroom door, basement door, and gate to the upstairs were closed, is still in effect today—even with the newest installations of baby door locks.  I still fuss at the other kids who forget to close these safeties, as I bring the baby back downstairs again (as I used to do with Elli).  We have been reminiscing about the things Elli used to do, and I would like to share some of the highlights.

As labs do, she loved to eat.  Anything.

Uncountable baby socks were digested and found in the back yard when the first two kids were little.

Crayons were like candy to her and she would focus and wait like a vulture for an unsuspecting child to drop one or leave the entire BOX unattended for 3 seconds.  The back yard was very colorful.

Money was yummy.  Once she ate two $20 bills.  Yes, I found them in the back yard, ripped only a couple times, washed and sterilized them, and turned them into the bank for new.  (What. I had gloves on.  40 bucks is 40 bucks when you are newly married.  Or even now.)  There was another time when she snacked on a $100 bill sent in the mail from Gramps, but I never found that one.

She loved trash.  (Hearing the Grouch’s song in my head right now: “Oh, I love trash….”)  She would sneak upstairs to the bedroom trash and rip it to shreds in seconds—hence the installed gate to the upstairs and door closed to the basement.  Used tissues were a delicacy—she would focus and wait patiently for the second a fresh one was forgotten, snatch it, and run off to hide and eat her prey.  When that was not available, she would devour the toilet paper right off the rolls in the bathroom—hence the closing of the bathroom doors.  Her favorite time to sneak off to do these hunting excursions was when the kids came home from school and we weren’t giving her attention (though she often just laid around during the day while they were gone), or while we prayed during dinner.  Did I mention she was naughty?

She also loved to eat sewing material, and some of her greatest feasts came with novice grandmas, unaccustomed to the ways of a stealthy four-legged omnivore.  She once ate a fully-loaded pin cushion.  Yes, it is true.  We called the vet and he said to feed her a half loaf of bread then, and another half 6 hours later, hoping to bulk up the pins as they passed.  (We swear we heard Elli say, “Yum! Dessert! Thanks!”)  They did pass, surprisingly uneventfully.  One grandma sewing project, the 12 baby bumper pad ties that got wadded in her stomach like a baseball—well, that one wasn’t quite as pretty.

Her favorite toy was the “Indestructible Kong.”  Well, it was the leastde-structible, anyway.  It would last several months, as opposed to several seconds with the other dog toys.  And she was a retriever at heart.  She would play catch-the-Kong (or whatever else you would throw—it’s just that the Kong was the only thing that would make it back to us in one piece) till the thrower gave up.  I’m not sure she would ever stop the game if she had the choice. She even bit a whole in her tongue once from catching the Kong in her mouth, but it never phased her.  She was ready to go again!  The black scar on her pink tongue (as seen in the last picture below) was a regular reminder of her eagerness to persist in her God-given purpose: to retrieve.

The kids would play a fun game with her—they would make her sit and stay (oh so difficult to do but she tried really hard) and they would hide the Kong.  Within seconds, she had followed the trail and would return proudly with her prey, eager to go again.  When guests came, she didn’t care about getting a pat or a scratch behind the ears.  She ran to get her slobbery Kong to drop in their laps.  And you couldn’t throw it off or she would become even more persistent—that must mean you wanted to play!

Even like Eva now, Elli loved to “see the people.”  If we had bags packed in the front room for a trip, she would lay by them for hours, hopeful we would not forget to take her too.  And on school days, she would come stare at me starting about 1:30, wondering if it was time yet to walk to school and pick up the kids.  (About every 10 school days, the kids are dismissed at 1:45 instead of 3:00, so I think that’s why she was always hopeful starting at 1:30.)  She was like the Central Elementary School mascot.  Everyone loved Elli, and I was affectionately known as “Elli’s mom.”

In the last couple years, she finally started losing her “puppy-ness” and was no longer able to join us on our walks to school, as I had to practically drag or carry her on the way home.  In the last several months, she was obviously in more and more pain, but still never complained.  We got to where we were giving her a push from behind up the outside back steps, and we were worried how much more difficult that was going to be for her in the winter.  More and more she was eating less and losing control of bodily functions.  I prayed we would know when it was time.  Though I knew it would be hard on the kids to say goodbye, I also knew it would be worse to watch her pass at home.  And I was concerned that if she actually made it till after Kieran came home, he might forever associate our tears and sadness of losing her, with whom he really had no history, with his coming here to live with us.  I would hate that for him and for our family.  (He might have even been afraid of her—most “dogs” in Ethiopia are wild hyenas who harm people.)  Besides, he will already be grieving much loss as it is.

So it was evident that it was time.  Our hearts ache, missing her, but I have to keep reminding myself that it was for the best.  Lots of extra pictures and videos were taken by the kids yesterday, Labor Day, after we told them.  Below are some pictures Michael took “just in case” before we left on our last trip to Ethiopia.

Goodbye, you little stinker.  Oh how you loved us.  Even when you got lower and lower on the totem pole with each new kid, you still patiently let them crawl on you and poke and pull and stick their hands in your food bowl while eating, without even so much as a snarl.  Thank you for unselfishly preparing the way.

Returning Home

I can’t believe this trip is already almost over.  What experiences we have had and how our life has changed in this short week and a half.  “What I have seen.”

As we leave in a few short hours, I wanted to share with you a sweet moment I had with my son yesterday.  There is a Scripture I had read recently in Psalms that when I read it, I knew that I wanted to share it with Kieran.

If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.  (Ps 139:9-10)

I wrote it down on a piece of paper and then tried to explain it to him.  He knows many English words but the poetic part of this is a little confusing.  Basically this was my translation to him.  I was “fortunate” to have a book in front of us with a picture of the world on it.

When you, Sintayehu, wake up on the other side of the world, when you begin to live across the sea (as I pointed to the globe), EVEN THERE GOD is holding your hand (as I looked straight into his eyes and held his hand).  God is here and He is there, and his strong right hand will guide you and keep you safe.

I saw in his deep eyes that he understood and I held him close.  We didn’t move for a long time.  I could tell he knew that, in the midst of his worries, he is seeing how his heavenly Father is taking care of him.  He is learning to trust us and to trust God more and more.

Please pray for his heart while we wait to be reunited again.  Pray he gives his worries to the Almighty.  Pray we all grow stronger every day in the knowledge and amazing love of our Father.  Amen.

A Day With Our Son

Today we were privileged to have an entire day with “Big Brother.”  The other four couples had court or Embassy appointments in the morning.  One family passed Embassy, two passed court, one did not.  Please pray they will pass soon before closures, though court closures are starting remarkably late this year: Aug 22-Oct 1, which is also quite short which bodes well for adoptive families!  So during their appointments, we went to the Transition House (TH) to see our son.

We spent the day talking, sharing things we know in common, including some sign language (one of his good friends here is deaf), playing card games, looking at photos and videos on my iphone, taking photos (which he does not enjoy—gets shy and hard to talk him into smiling—but yet he wanted to take more with his friends), and laughing.  He is good at card games, loves to learn, is playful, and enjoys just sitting together watching people.  I love seeing all the things he has in common with our other kids!

We had also asked permission to take him to eat with us, and since he is a big kid, they let him though we have not yet passed court.  I wanted to take him last night to the Ethiopian restaurant with the dancing and fun, but it would have been too late.  So we will do that next trip when he gets to be with us the whole time.  (Sorry, Liam, you’ll have to “take one for the team”—all they serve there is Ethiopian food. :))  This time we went to Amsterdam Restaurant which is very good.

Then we headed back to the TH for the afternoon of more of the same, and we also got to visit the Big Kid TH where S sleeps.  We will have to pass court before we can show pics.  We passed out glow sticks to the big kids there.  (We had more than enough but still ended up with not enough, so advice to those of you yet to come, line the kids up and pass them out to make sure some little fingers are not double-dipping. :))

Though he wouldn’t admit it, I think S was tired by the end of the day, and possibly hurting.  It was good we didn’t do the late Ethiopian restaurant last night.  As I read recently, “In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.” (Prov 16:9)  As much as I really wanted to share that with him, I know S and Maura had a great time together today at the laid back lunch.  She said it was her favorite part of the day.  She and S laughed a lot!  (He has such a beautiful smile when he is not hiding from the camera!)

I can’t wait till you see in person how sweet Big Brother is.  He is so loving with all the kids, and especially with Maura.  I had heard this about him with the babies, but I was so thrilled to see it with bigger kids too.  And all the nannies and staff LOVE him.  He is so gentle and patient and helpful and thankful.  He said he hopes to do something to help other people in the future.  I have no doubt God is going to use him in a big way!  I got teary today sharing with a couple of the other moms that my biggest prayer in adopting an older boy was that he would be a great big brother to our other kids.  Though God is still writing this story that will inevitably have many ups and downs along the way, I know God heard my prayer and believe He is answering it beyond what I would have imagined.

I believe God speaks to me at times, and most often through Scripture.  Because I am a numbers girl (remember, I have a MATH degree!  I, like Jonah I guess, tried my best to run from writing and reading and speaking when I was in college!  God says, “Ha Ha! Who’s the boss?!”), sometimes my mind picks up on numbers in the Bible and wants to try to make something of them.  I truly fight it and read on quickly, but one Scripture I read wouldn’t let me pass it by because July 23 sticks with me since it is the day of our first referral phone call in 2010.  I wrote this Scripture in my journal in the middle of May, before our home study was finished, before our official referral, before our announcement, before we had any idea when we would be in Ethiopia.  (Someday I hope to share with you more of the things God has shown me through the story of David and his relationship with his son Solomon.)

“On the 23rd day of the seventh month he sent the people to their homes, joyful and glad in heart for the good things the Lord had done for David and Solomon and for his people Israel.” (2 Chron 7:10)

Somehow I knew this day, July 23, would be a special one with our son, even though at the time I had no idea I would be here with him.  (Know that I am aware that the Jews use an entirely different calendar year and please don’t take this as a license to interpret Scripture this way.  It is a totally improper hermeneutic.  I’m just telling you what I felt God revealed to me that day in May.) 

There was nothing exceptionally remarkable about today except that it was just a lovely day laughing and getting to know our son.  Well, nothing except the fact that he was born on the other side of the world just a year after Michael and I were married.  And that out of our broken and messed up lives, God is weaving this tapestry that only He could make so beautiful, imperfections and all.  Oh, and that I can truly say how much I love my son though I have only just met him.  But other than that, nothing out of the ordinary.

Thanks again for all of your encouragement and prayers for us.  Please pray as we talk with the doctor tomorrow, that we know what questions to ask so as to give us wisdom for the many doctor appointments we have ahead of us, and that we can learn more of his heart and his hurts (physical and emotional) so that we can best parent and help him grieve.  Pray also for court on Wednesday morning at 9am (Tues night 1am-ish for you) and our meeting with S’s birth father and S together.  Oh, it is going to be an emotional day.  I’m afraid I will cry more than anyone.

God is paving the way and blessing all that He has planned, but I believe your prayers are part of that plan.  We are humbled by it all.  And I am praying that God is sending you, His people Israel, home with joyful and glad hearts because of what He is doing for us all.

 

Trip to Southern Ethiopia

We saw a lot of these donkey-drawn carts on our trip
We saw a lot of these donkey-drawn carts on our trip to southern Ethiopia

 

We left early Friday morning for our trip to Woylata, 7+ hours south of Addis.  Because of lack of good sleep, issues with motion sickness, different foods, and not yet having a normal tummy after the plane trip, Maura got sick a couple times along the way.  But she is a trouper and always manages to catch it in time (we saved some bags off the plane—we are calling them “Bob” because somehow it bothers me when she asks for the “barf bag” :)), or can tell us to stop the car in time.  She bounces back pretty quickly, but please say a prayer for her if you think of it.

On the way, our guides stopped at a random home to show us the inside of a typical Ethiopian hut.  Inside we were surprised to see two donkeys eating, along with the owners’ bed and cooking area.  We gave them some money and a baby blanket as a thank you.

The purpose of our trip was to see the region where Aidan and Eva were born and where Aidan spent his first years growing up.  We wanted to take pictures for their baby books and have some context for ourselves of their background.  We didn’t know if it was going to be possible, but we were able to meet up with their birth mom (we will call her A).  Our time together was so blessed.

When we got there, A (and about a million kids) met us at the van and she and I gave each other a very long embrace.  It felt like she was letting go of 1 1/2 years of concern as she wondered how her babies were doing.  I took her eager hand and we walked to her tiny home with the translators (we have to use two to get to her language).  I felt like the Pied Piper as more and more people came out to see the “ferenges” (white people).  And all of them wondering why we came to see this not-so-highly-known young lady who does odd jobs to make ends meet and lives with her two brothers in an apartment not much bigger than most Americans’ bathrooms.

She made a place for the 8 of us to sit (Gowin 3, she and her brother, two translators, and one boy who sneaked in).  We had to leave the door open as there was no light in the room, and it was funny to see the neighbor kids inch their way in little by little.  She seemed eager, but nervous, to tell us about her life and say that she was always wondering about what kind of family the kids were in and how they were doing, so she was so happy to hear that we were coming to see her.  Evidently, AWAA has given her pictures from every post-placement report and she had those saved in a special place and showed them to us.  We brought her two small photo albums and she kissed Aidan and Eva on several of the pages.  They will be treasured.

During our conversation, she explained to us that she had been shunned in her village for having two children out of wedlock and then giving them away, so she had to move to this new village.  As we walked back to the van, with by now half the village in tow, I realized from more of her conversation that our coming to her may, in some way, be helping to redeem her story.  She went from an outcast to the most interesting person in the village because some white people made a trip all the way from the United States to see HER.  In their minds, we were celebrities, and now she must be important as well.

As we got to the van, I wanted to give her some things that would help her life.  We really are not allowed to give birth parents gifts because then it looks like we are buying children, but I thought it would be OK to give her some used things I was going to give away anyway.  I handed her two sets of towels (they were from our home—I had just put them in our luggage last minute to fill in the spaces), the princess blanket that Maura and I used in the van on the way down (surprisingly it is 50-65 degrees here now), and my sun-discolored but otherwise very useful rain boots.  (It is the rainy season here for 2-3 months and the downpours and mud make life difficult.  We each brought our boots since we heard we may need them.)

I’m not sure I will ever forget the big smile on her face as we drove away, arms full of love wrapped in a princess blanket.  Today she was the Queen.

A little ways down the road, Job, our guide, saw a market that he said he wanted to “experience.” We asked if he was sure, knowing we were going to be a disturbance.  He said he didn’t think they would pay much attention to us because it was the market, so we went with him.  If we thought we had seen all the village, well, we hadn’t.  They crowded around as we walked touching and laughing and fighting to hold our hands.  I stuck close to Princess Maura, who couldn’t smile any bigger and yet held very tight to me.  We couldn’t even make it to the market and realized we needed to go back to the van.  I wouldn’t say we were afraid—these people are all so very loving—but it was a little overwhelming.  Here’s a picture Michael made just before we got into the van showing the market crowd that gathered around us.

That night we stayed in the last room in town because of a university graduation.  When I woke at 1:00am, it was all suddenly clear to me that our room was available for a reason.  We were the last room on the top floor (only stairs to get there), we had two twin beds (Maura and I shared) that weren’t actually mattresses but box springs, and our cold porcelain toilet had no seat.  The ironies were all too clear.  We went from royalty in the small village, to the servants’ quarters at the hotel.  And yet as I lay there wide awake for a couple hours (which is not like me AT ALL), I was all too aware that even this room and bed were royal compared to the room and bed in which Queen A was staying tonight.

And as I laid in bed and listened to the rains start to come (which we had yet to see up to this point), I was aware of the fact that I was going to miss my boots tomorrow.  But with every soggy step I was going to take, I would picture proud Queen A wearing her Royal Boots as she trudged through the flood waters to find work for the day, as the others looked at her with a new esteem.

It did rain a good portion of the day as we took a different route back to Addis via Awassa, where Eva has some history.  After lunch we were fortunate that the rain stopped in time for us to take a boat ride to see some hippos “up close and personal” and feed monkeys out of our hands.  Then it was another 6-7 hours back to Addis.  Ethiopia is such a beautiful country and we truly enjoyed seeing this part of it and learning so much about it from our guide and driver.

It has been a long couple days, but so rich with memories and blessings.  We are so grateful to have had this experience.  And we are excited to see Big Brother again tomorrow and every day till we leave!  He actually has asked our guide several times (before we came) if he thought we would be willing to see his family when we come to get him on the next trip.  So though we hated to leave him just after we got there, it also gave him hope—that we would, in fact, be willing to travel and do the same with him.

We will post more about our time with “S” later, but for now we want to share some good news:  We have a positive MOWYCA letter at the court!!!  For those of you not aware of this jargon, this important piece of paper is necessary but often missing on the day of court, and then the family does not pass.  Though it still does not guarantee that we will pass, it is much more likely with this letter already there!!  Please keep up the prayers and thank you so much!!!

Donations for Orphanages in Ethiopia

We leave for Ethiopia in a little over a week (July 17) and we would like to take some donations to the orphanages.  Since there are three of us going (Maura will come on this trip), we will have six 50# bags we can check, and we can use at least half of them for donations, so lets fill them up!  Here are some ideas if you would like to help:

  • baby wipes (only sensitive skin or unscented)—PRIORITY
  • crocs for big kids and nannies—PRIORITY
  • bath towels (not heavy)
  • toothpaste/toothbrushes
  • scrubs for nannies and nurses
  • first aid (bandages, gloves, baby/children’s Tylenol, iron drops, etc)
  • baby formula (especially lactose free: Enfamil, Similac, Parent’s Choice, Target)
  • multivitamins for babies and kids

If we receive more than we can bring on this trip, we will bring it on the next trip which will hopefully be in another two months or more.  Thanks for your continued support and prayers on this journey with us!

Court Date: July 25!!

We finally received the long awaited call that our court date in Ethiopia has been scheduled for July 25!  We are very excited to meet our 15 year old son!  (Good thing we were married 16 years ago!  Ha ha!)

We will be leaving the US a few days early to travel to southern Ethiopia and see where Eva was born and Aidan spent his first several years.  We would like some context for us and some pictures for him.  So we will likely fly out about the 17th.

We still have quite a bit of funds to raise, so please consider visiting our Fundraising tab above so see how you can help us with that.  Most of all, please pray that we soon receive the I-171 paper we need from the US Homeland Security, and that we pass court before the two month Ethiopian court closure (due to the rainy season!) in August and September.  We want to make sure the whole process is taken care of before he turns 16 so there is no doubt whether he can come home with us!

Gowin Kid #6

What??? Did I miscount?? I thought they only had 5 kids……

Yes, well I’m pregnant……………… with a 15 year old boy! Can’t you see the glow?!  This is our first sonogram:

We have accepted the referral of a 15 yo boy from Ethiopia!  We mailed all our paperwork, and it is possible that we could even be in Ethiopia for a court date in July!  We can’t give his name until we pass court, but you can call him “Solomon” for now.  That is the Bible name I felt God give me for him 2 years ago and it will be his middle name.  Since he is older, we will let him decide if he wants an Irish name like our other kids, or if he wants to stick with his Ethiopian name.

This is a long 2.5 year story, but I will try my best to hit the highlights.  Though, as you might have noticed lately, I am not the shortest blogger. 🙂

In January of 2010, I put Liam, my then-seven year old boy, to bed one night (this was during our other adoption but we had not yet received a referral), and we prayed, as we usually did, for orphans and for our kids that would be coming.  Then he asked me this: “Mom, aren’t there older kids in the orphanage?  I mean, how do they feel when people come to get the little kids and the big kids aren’t picked even though they have been there longer?”  That question has haunted me since that night and there has not been a day gone by that I didn’t believe that God spoke to me that night “through the mouth of babes.” (I wrote an entry in my journal about this dated Jan 18, 2010.)

Ever since then I have believed that we were supposed to adopt an older boy, one who is alone (not a sibling group) and will age out of the system soon.  In Ethiopia, as with many other countries, at age 16 you are no longer adoptable and you go out to make your way in the streets.  I have watched the Waiting Child List from our agency ever since then and seen boys that fit that description come and go.  I even pursued a few of them a little, but the timing was never right.

Well, starting last fall I felt like the time was coming soon.  Then late one night on Jan 20, 2012, I felt I received a Word from God.  I was about to go to bed, pj’s on, computer closed, one last pit stop.  (Sorry, going to be honest here because I just want to show God’s sense of humor.  Yes, I was sitting in the bathroom when God spoke to me.)  I heard in my head this nonchalant question, “Hey, why don’t you check out Katie’s blog?”  It wasn’t me saying to myself, I wonder what Katie has written lately.  It was a question, directed to me–Hey comma, ___?”  I thought, “Wow. That was random.  I haven’t looked at Katie’s blog in months, but OK.”

So I went back downstairs and opened up my computer.  Katie Davis’s last entry was posted on Jan. 18.  (Did you catch it was the same date as my journal entry, exactly two years earlier?)  She talked about how God did not wait to send Jesus until we were ready and clean and had everything in order.  He enters into our mess.  HIS time is now.  (Click on the above link to see her entry—it will be worth your while.)  As I read, it was as if God was speaking straight to me.  The time is NOW, NOW, NOW.  Michael and I had just previously agreed to pray and fast during Lent (February to Easter) about adopting again, so how does this square, without me pushing?  So I asked Michael if I could just send off for paperwork from our home study agency and our international agency.  That doesn’t commit us to anything.  He agreed.

Then there was another time in February on one of our fasting days where I felt a strong urgency to get going on things and later that day got a call from our international agency who encouraged us to apply before we got ahead of ourselves.  I was setting up doctor appointments and other things that I knew we would need to have done, but again didn’t commit us to anything.  I asked Michael if we could go ahead and apply because if we were not accepted, then our prayers were in vain anyway.  We were out a little money, but again no obligation.

Then once in March, I asked a pushy question to Michael, one that came out of desperation and not trust in the God who was telling me we were going to be doing this.  I asked for Michael’s forgiveness and I vowed in my head that I would not bring up ANYTHING adoption related until the Tuesday after Easter.  Though I felt such an urgency about this, I also knew I needed to trust and respect my husband and give him the time we had agreed upon to pray about this and to process it with God himself.  Patience.  Trust.

During that one month, God bombarded me with Words from Him, and I had to keep them all to myself!  I have had a handful or two of times in the past when I have felt God speak to me in some way, and they have always come to pass, but I have NEVER had him speak to me like this, multiple times with one specific message! During this month, we were accepted into our agency, “our boy” showed up on the WCL, and God revealed to me over and over that it was this boy that was supposed to be in our family.  Through a movie, through Scripture and prayer time, through songs, through my adoptive moms retreat.  (There is enough for a whole other post that I can share once we pass court and are allowed to tell more details about our boy.)  He tied up lose ends and answered questions from years previous that had always left me wondering and not quite understanding His will.  Everything became clear to me.

So at the end of that month, I sat down with Michael and showed him all that God had shown me.  I told him that I have never been more sure of something, more sure of what God was specifically leading us to do, than I was right now.  Even of marrying him!  Yes, I believe God had a huge hand in bringing us together, and I believe it was one of the best decisions I have ever made.  But I did not necessarily get a “Word from God” to do so.  Not only am I blessed to have heard from God once about this decision, but many times through many avenues that were unmistakeably from Him.  How many times in life do we get to say that we know we are exactly in the middle of God’s will??  I am humbled.

Michael had tears as I spoke with him, as the Spirit confirmed the decision in his heart.  He asked a couple of logistical questions, and then decidedly replied, “Ok. Let’s do this.”  He is a brave man.  He is trusting “Words from God” that didn’t come to him, except through me.  He is trusting that God will continue to be faithful, as He has shown us before, though we have no promises about the future.  He is giving his bread winning pride over to God and trusting that though this looks crazy (and is crazy) on paper, that we serve and remember the God who brought the Israelites out of Egypt and parted the Red Sea.

It has taken a while to get our Home Study finalized because Illinois has more more i’s to dot and t’s to cross than most states.  While we were waiting for these items, other families from our agency were coming home from meeting their kids and several of them were talking “Solomon” up.  They said he was so sweet and so good with little kids and would be such a blessing, and not to let his physical issues with his legs or his age deter someone from pursuing him.  We were already actively pursuing him, but it was such a blessing to hear this about his personality!

This is not about us.  It is not about a burning desire I have to have 6 kids.  Or an overly emotional mentality that cries at every lost puppy and thinks that I need to save the world.  It is about a God who calls himself the Father to the Fatherless.  HE is the one who is watching over the orphan and hears their cries and answers them by putting each specific child on someone’s heart.  In our case, he put two siblings on our hearts, a boy and a girl with specific ages, and now an older boy that fits a specific profile (will explain that later), that we were supposed to go look for.  God is taking care of them, not us.  Remember how I said that God “called” me while I was in the bathroom that night, Jan 20, 2012?  Well, we found out later when we got his file that it was that exact same day that he was admitted to the transition home.  God was telling me, “He is ready now.  It’s time to start.”

Now we each can choose to obey or not obey.  And it is my fear that too often God has parents in mind that he wants to stand in the gap for the defenseless, and they have busied themselves so much that they don’t even hear God ask.  So the problem of the orphan is not that God is not working on their behalf, but often that we, his people, are not fully listening and obeying.  My adoptive mom friend Monica reminded me of this Scripture on her blog recently: “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” (Gal 6:2)  Today it is our job to carry the burden of parenting for someone else who can no longer do so, and to help a young man get the medical attention he needs and love of a family so that he can have a chance at life and love and work and family.  To have more to hope for than life on the streets without the physical ability to work and find food.

So this is where we are at this point.  Our paperwork went unusually quick and we have a finalized home study, proper paperwork sent off to Homeland Security, and our dossier (all the international paperwork) sent off and will be headed over to Ethiopia as of 6-1-12.  If all goes well, we could be there for court in July!  We will get to meet and spend time with our boy that week, and then return for our Embassy appointment to take him home hopefully a few months after that.

Please pray with us that our paperwork continues to go quickly (especially because of his age and because the Ethiopian court closes for two months during the rainy season in August and September), that “Solomon” will feel peace and joy and trust in the God who is taking care of him, and that we raise the funds necessary to travel twice very soon.  (Usually the big chunk you pay at dossier time is months or even years from the time of the referral chunk.  Ours were a day apart.  And now we will have two trips to Ethiopia very soon.)

We received word yesterday that Solomon was told he has a family and they said he was overjoyed!  He had pretty much given up hope at this point.  They said the staff and other kids at the transition home celebrated with him!  He had recently received two care packages anonymously from us, but now he will get a photo book to know more of who we are.  And we told the remaining kids here last night (we had already told the older two a month ago because they could keep a secret).  We are all excited that we will be a family of 8!  We had one more spot at our table, one more seat in our Suburban, and one more place in our home, and now they will be filled!  Please praise God and celebrate with us His everlasting grace and goodness!

 

Update:

Here are posts about the “Word from God” about Kieran’s story that I wasn’t able to share in more detail at the time: Kid 6.1 and Kid 6.2

Gowin Kid #5: Grace Erin

Erin at 12

Grace Erin is number 5, and she is 12 years old.  You might notice that her Bible name and Irish name are in a different order than the others.  Yes, that is because all the baby books (that you read for the first kid) said to make sure you check the initials before giving your child a name.  I pictured our little girl playing softball someday with E.G.G. on the back of her jersey.  We didn’t want to mess up the rest of her life, so we switched the order.  This way she can, in a most dramatic fashion, write “G. Erin Gowin” on her autographs and checks someday.

Like Liam’s name, “Erin” just means “from Ireland.”  Not necessarily rich in meaning, but we like it.  However, “Grace” is loaded with significance for us.

I knew when I was 20 that I might not be able to have kids biologically because of some reproductive issues.  Then after Michael and I had been married about 3 years, we decided to go see a fertility specialist.  The first 3 months of medication and hormones were not effective and I started to really worry.  My biggest lifelong dream was to grow up and be a mommy.  But I had a heart to heart with God one day and gave up my dream, choosing to trust him with my life, knowing He knew what was best for me and I was OK with that.  I got pregnant that next month.  Hence, the “Grace.”  This is similar to a lot of people’s stories and why many girls have Grace as part of their name.

But then our little Grace decided to really live up to her name.  I had a routine sonogram scheduled for 29 weeks, a week early because Michael was going to be gone that whole next week.  Our world started to crumble that day as our doctor said Erin was 3 weeks behind in development and I had very little amniotic fluid.  She put me on strict bedrest (“What?? I feel fine!”) and told me what signs to look for: sudden vomiting and upper right quadrant pain (where your liver is).  That was a Tuesday.  All those things started to happen Thursday night.  We went to the hospital, was admitted, and they started me on magnesium sulfate to keep my blood pressure down so I wouldn’t seize.  By the next day they had doctors coming to visit me saying I would have the baby within 24 hours and explaining to us what to expect with preemies in the NICU.  Wow.  It was all happening so fast.

Well, God had other plans.  One night, in the middle of the night I was awake—inevitably, since the blood pressure cuff squeezed my arm every 15 minutes.  I suddenly had this vision of angels over me in my hospital room and God saying to me, “You are going to be OK.  There are many people praying for you.”  After 6 days in the hospital, they released me.  The doctor who released me told me that I probably just had a virus because people with what they had initially thought I had dont get released and go home.  I could go to church on the next Sunday (Easter) but I needed to lay low otherwise.  Goodbye.

I still vividly remember how that Sunday in church began.  Everyone was standing except me (laying low) and the powerful organ began, “Christ the Lord has risen today! Hallelujah!”  All those emotions come straight back to me every time I hear that hymn now.

Then, a week and half after the first admittance, we went back to the hospital with the same symptoms.  Got there at midnight on a Friday, stayed till 6am Saturday, symptoms died down, sent me home.  Then on Sunday morning it woke me at 4am.  I couldn’t get comfortable.  I was up, I was down, something really hurt.  So we head out again to the hospital in Springfield.  (Did I mention it is 45 min away?)

I show up at 5am and they give me the first-time-pregnant-can’t-handle-pain-you’ve-been-here-before smile and admit me for some testing.  Since it is Sunday morning, the lab is running very slowly (and I don’t think they were in too much of a hurry), and it is after 8:30 when they finally get the results.  In the meantime, I want to crawl out of my skin, and I can’t figure out how to lay or sit to make it stop, but I really didn’t complain much.  Because of the test results, they start me on magnesium sulfate just before 9am.

That’s when all hell breaks loose.  (Sorry, but there is no other good way to describe it.)  The baby monitor shows that Erin’s heart rate immediately slows to 60 bpm.  Everyone starts yelling.  To me: “Turn to your right, turn to your left, try this!” (They were trying to help me find a position where her heart rate would go up.  The best they got was 90 bpm with me on my hands and knees on the bed.)  To the other nurses: “Page Dr. Guildner! Prep the c-section room!”  Lots of other yelling that I don’t remember.  Chaos.  (I do remember an older man standing calmly on the side with a cup of coffee in his hands.  Who was he?  Was that an angel with gray hair, dressed in jeans and a plaid shirt tucked in over his plump belly?)

(A funny thing I just have to add here is that I do remember having the cognizance to ask Michael if I was covered up, knowing I was in a hospital gown, on my hands and knees, and about to be wheeled down the hall to the c-section room.  He assured me I was fine.  Haha sure.)

So Grace Erin Gowin was born by emergency c-section at 9:18am that morning.  Yes, that fast.  She was 2# 14oz and did decently on her apgar scores from what I heard.  However, I was in the operating room for another 2 hours.  After they got Erin out, the doctor noticed a lot of extra blood.  As it turned out, my liver had ruptured sometime in the previous 24 hours, and I was bleeding internally.  (Yeh—show you not to give me those newbie pregnant looks!)  As God was watching over the situation, Dr. Guildner had remembered seeing an internal surgeon in the parking lot that morning and knew they could page him and get him there quickly.  He reopened me perpendicular to the c-section and patched up my liver.  (Dr. Hammer said this at my post-op appointment after examining my incision: “Wow. I did a pretty good job.” He was afraid it would be all crooked because he had cut it in such a hurry. 🙂 )

I evidently had something they call HELLP Syndrome (Hemolysis, Elevated Liver Enzymes, Low Platelets).  It is a form of pre-eclampsia but much more severe (obviously).  It can shut down kidneys, heart, and liver, as well as have major repercussions for the baby.  Many women and babies have died from this, often because it is not diagnosed in time.  Remember how I said we had a sonogram early and saw the signs?  If I had not, I would have called the doctor and she probably would have told me that pregnant women vomit, that I probably have indigestion (which is also in that upper quadrant area), and to call me in the morning.  Things go south really quickly with this syndrome, which is why moms and babies often die when they are put off by the doctors, especially since it occurs most often in first time moms.

Besides all that was mentioned above, here are some other notable points along the way where God stepped in to save little “Grace” and I.  1) I had the sonogram early, found out the problem, and knew what to expect. My doctor did not dismiss my symptoms because of that.  2) Since they expected the baby to be born on the first admittance, they gave me a round of steroid shots to help her lungs develop, but those shots take 48 hours to take effect.  If we had not had a flare up two weeks previous to her birth, she would not have had those shots because we did not have 48 hours the second time around.  3) That last flare up happened early that Sunday morning before Michael had left for church.  If only a few hours later, I would not have had a way to call him while he was playing on the worship team.  4) The right doctors were there at the right time on a Sunday morning.

I was still pretty sick for a while after Grace Erin’s birth.  I had to have a blood transfusion and I was not allowed to get out of my bed for a few days because of having major surgery.  That was difficult because Erin was so tiny, she had to be in an isolette down the hall.  So I didn’t get to see her for two days except for the Polaroid pictures the nurses brought down to my room.  Finally, after the second day, the nurses felt so bad for me that they unplugged Erin, wheeled her isolette down to my room so I could stick my hand in the little hole on the side (you’ve seen those machines when you first walk into Wal-Mart?) and touch her for 30 seconds before they wheeled her off again.  I went home after a week, though I still had a long way to go to get back on my feet, but Erin stayed for a month till she got her body fat up enough to keep herself warm and till she was able to take a bottle.  She was still only #4 when she came home and we had another month or two where we had to work really hard at getting her to take a bottle and teach her to nurse.

Wow. That week was hard.  I was so sick and so emotional.  One nurse told me that I almost died that day.  Then my dad came up from OK earlier than he had planned, and I was convinced that was because they told him to, because I was dying.  And my body hurt extra when I cried, so that didn’t help things either.  But God got us through.  The doctors that day thought we weren’t going to make it, but God had other plans.  This story is one of the many reasons why I will forever trust in my God and live my life to serve Him.  He has given me (and Erin) another chance and nothing will ever be more important than seeking out his purposes for me.

So, if you are still here and sticking with me through this against-blogging-regulation-length blog post.  Here is a little about our Grace Erin, who began our lives as parents with a bang!

She is super sweet, though that is not always manifested in interactions with her siblings. 🙂  She is quiet, but not shy.  She loves people, but is an introvert by nature and is often found hiding somewhere lost in a book.  Unexpectedly, she loves to perform in plays.  She is rarely nervous about being in front of people, though she is more often sitting quietly, minding her own business.  She tends toward perfectionism, but she has often reminded me when I was trying to help her do a project, “It doesn’t have to be perfect, Mom.”  She is smart and a hard worker.  She was awarded Student of the Month in the first month of her junior high career, which she was surprised about since she figured hardly anyone knew her at that point.  But I had the opportunity to explain to her that she doesn’t have to announce her presence to make her gentle spirit known.  The Holy Spirit is shining brightly through her and others see that even if she is not loud.

Erin too has a heart for justice issues.  I remember her, when she was young, telling off some of the big boys during recess because they were being mean to someone.  She has often pushed to go around the neighborhood and collect food for the food pantry or to have lemonade stands to earn money for World Vision. As a younger child, her favorite American Girl doll was not the one who looked just like her, but Addy, the little brown girl who escaped from slavery during the Civil War.  What she loved most of all about Addy was that she was brave, and Erin has often pushed herself out of her comfort zone in an attempt to be brave as well.

She has plans to be a missionary in Africa some day like Katie Davis, and she says she might not even get married if she doesn’t find a man who wants to go to Africa with her.  Ask her—she is very serious about that.  The deep dark jungles of Africa would definitely be out of her comfort zone since she is pretty squeamish about many things, but I have no doubt she would push through if she felt it was what God wanted of her.

Grace Erin has already been an example to the world of God’s intimate hand in our lives.  We will all be blessed to see what more He wants to show us about Himself, through her.  Thank you, Lord, that you had other plans.  Thank you for your Grace.

Gowin Kid #4: Liam Josiah

Liam reading

After a month’s hiatus, I’m back to blogging about our kids in reverse age order.

Liam Josiah is up next.  He will be 10 in June.  His middle name is after Josiah in the Old Testament who became King of Israel at the young age of 8.  After a long line of “bad eggs,” as Liam likes to say, Josiah did great things to bring his people back to Yahweh.  He had a heart for God and His Word, and after finding the long lost Book of the Law (the first 5 books of the OT), he repaired the temple and reformed the community of God.  2 Kings 23:25 says this about Josiah: “Neither before nor after Josiah was there a king like him who turned to the Lord as he did—with all his heart and with all his soul and with all his strength, in accordance with all the Law of Moses.”

Like all our other kids, Liam’s other name is Irish.  It is short for William and it means “helmet.”  Yeh….we just liked it.  But he is a “helmet-head” at times.  🙂

Liam has always had somewhat of a spiritual side that I am not quite sure how to explain yet.  When he was two, we would regularly find him thumbing through our stacks of commentaries.  There were no pictures.  He knew where his books were.  It never made any sense, but he did it.  A lot.  And believe this or don’t, but at times when I felt like Satan was picking a spiritual fight with me, he would do it by waking Liam in the middle of the night, and making him incoherent and out of control (not like him any other time—he otherwise slept really well, as did I).  When I would finally realize what was going on, I would name it out loud and tell Satan he had no part in our home and he better leave my boy alone, and then it would stop.  Like I said, believe it or not, but that’s what happened.

Liam is very sensitive.  When he was about 4 he would cry during the sad parts of movies, especially if he saw that someone was being left out or unfairly treated.  (I’m sure being a middle child for most of his life plays into that as well.)  Even now, he loves to hug on me and be touching me, though you would never see it because he is in the 4th grade stage of needing to seem cool.  I’m OK with that because I know I will get plenty of hugs when I get home.  And I know I can count on having him snuggle up to me every morning at 6:30am.  He finds me in my quiet time and gets his Bible and reads next to me.  I would have never guessed at the beginning of the year when he and Erin signed up to read the Bible in a year with me, that HE would be the one still going strong and caught up!  And I love our conversations when I take him to bed at night.  Maybe he is just stalling, but he often brings up some deep theological question that he has been contemplating.

Now all of this sweetness is not to say he is a saint.  He is still a fourth grade boy.  He loves to pester (ie. terrorize) his siblings.  He occasionally gets in trouble at school, though this has diminished quite a bit since his acceptance of Jesus and the indwelling of the Holy Spirit through baptism last November.  He fusses about his clothes and his hair more than anyone else in the house—well, maybe with the exception of Maura.  If you’ve seen his hair lately, you’ll realize that I am trying to let him express his identity…. uh, within limits. 🙂  He definitely has opinions and will fight to not wear something that he deems will make him not look cool to others.  Like a coat.  (He doesn’t say it that way, but I know.)  On the other hand, he has also been known to bring his Bible to class to finish his daily reading during free reading time at school.  I guess he hasn’t figured out yet that that isn’t cool.

Liam making pictures

He LOVES to build things.  He goes down to the the basement and comes up with some contraption of wood and screws and wires and whatever else he can find down there.  He uses Michael’s tools more than Michael does.  He gets on my computer or Michael’s ipad and creates power point presentations.  He and his dad have discussions about fonts.  Yes, you read that right.  He makes graphics or builds things for his Sunday School class, after finding what he sees as a problem, and then attempting to fix it.  My brother David was here to visit a couple weeks ago, and he and Liam put our new play set together in the back yard.  Don’t tell anyone, but I  took Liam out of school for a day to build it with David.  He was in heaven.

Liam is not afraid to try things, and is even a little intrigued by the things that might get him in trouble.  He is the one I pray extra hard for his teen years because I am worried he will be the party guy.  But even then if he goes through a rebellious streak, I still believe deep down he will always love his mama and his God and he will come to his senses.

A long time ago, I remember a skit that some people from our church did at the LCU chapel.  It had Tom Funk in it who played Liam Gowin, the 20?? preacher of Lincoln Christian Church.  I am reminded of Gene Appel, who was the son of the infamous Lincoln pastor/part-founder of Lincoln Christian University.  There is a story told once of Gene as a college student, who somehow got on the top of the huge LCU chapel on the day before the big Ladies Day convention and hung a sign that said, “Weight Watchers Convention.”  Yet Gene has gone on to pastor and allow God to do some amazing things through him at well-known churches such as Central Christian Church in Las Vegas and Willowcreek in Chicago.

I wonder what Liam will do when he grows up.  Maybe he will use his craftsman skills, together with his spiritual bent, to reform and lead people back to God.  I’m sure, whatever it is, it will be in some way I never imagined, especially as we parent him through the teen years. 🙂  But I am confident that God has a purpose for this son of ours, and we are going to do our best to help him find it.

Gowin Kid #3: Maura Esther

Maura bowling

Our third child, Maura Esther Gowin, just turned eight.  Yeah—no more booster seats!  (We let Aidan get rid of his too since he is also probably 8 and is as big as her, but he had to wait a day after her birthday so that she was still before him. :))  She is a bright smile in our home and is full of life!  Her Bible name came from Esther in the Bible, but it was actually the Veggie Tales version that especially caught my attention.  (Michael never lets me live that down.)  At the end of the video, the narrator says, “And Esther, she showed more courage than 10 kings and saved her people.  Now, she wasn’t born for greatness, she didn’t go to school for it.  She just learned that sometimes God has plans so big that only He can see them.  All she had to do was believe.  She was just a regular kid, just like you.”  (I just popped the video in to quote this correctly and I still cry every time I hear it!)  I went through the Beth Moore “Esther” study during our adoption and I love Esther’s story so much!  She was just a simple kid—in fact, the only one listed in the Bible whose parents both died—and yet God did what He is so good at:  He used an ordinary person to do extraordinary things to show His glory and redemption in the world!

Similarly, Maura’s Irish name means Mary.  Here is a quote from my favorite Christmas song of all times, “Be Born In Me” by Francesca Battistelli.  Mary is laying her heart out when she realizes she is to be the mother of the Lord Jesus: “I am not brave, I’ll never be.  The only thing my heart can offer is a vacancy.  I’m just a girl, nothing more.  But I am willing; I am yours.”  Isn’t that what we all say to our God?  And isn’t that all he truly asks of us?  (It is also meaningful to us that Maura’s step-grandmother Marian, which also means Mary, passed away during my pregnancy with Maura.  She was a godly woman and a light in my dad’s life.)

I’ve always said that Maura was my passionate child.  She is passionate in her offerings of love and kindness, and she is passionate in her frustrations!  She still wants to curl up in my lap each night and have me rock her for a few minutes before bed.  We used to say she was “squishy” because she loves to snuggle so much.  People often say that she looks the most like me, and I guess that must be true because we won a look-alike contest at the fair one year, an accomplishment of which she is very proud!  She is often noting things that are alike between us.  One morning as we were sitting on the couch reading a story, Maura noticed my tummy roll hanging over my pj’s and proudly exclaimed, “Look Mom!  We both have the same chubby tummy!”

Do you remember the little nursery rhyme that went something like this: “There was a little girl who had a little curl, right in the middle of her forehead.  And when she was good, she was very very good, but when she was bad she was horrid!”  Well, that is the rhyme I used on her first birthday invitation.  I knew from the day she was born that she would have some fire in her!  (That fire is the reason she was always the first to go anywhere near Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, 4th of July sparklers, and locust shells—even though the other two were years older than her!)  She can still throw a pretty good temper tantrum!  But of all the kids, she is also the first one to come back later, without prompting, and apologize for the way that she acted.  I know that God put that fire in her, and He will use it to fight for justice for the lonely and “the least of these.”

Maura does very well in school and gets along with everyone.  She says she doesn’t have a best friend because they are all her friends.  When we show up at a school function, we hear cries of “Maura! Maura! Come sit here!”  And yet she is often telling me about how she was helping another quiet schoolmate with something, or about how sad she is that some of her friends don’t know Jesus and how she tries to share Him with them.  Her second grade teacher regularly seats her by the trouble-makers because the teacher knows she can trust Maura to keep the rules and be a good example, and also that she will treat all the children as her friends.

Maura always knows the rules.  It is very important to her that everyone understands and follows them.  That is what is right and fair and that is how her brain functions.  (This is another area where she is like me—that is why I have a degree in math.  Math has rules and if you follow them, you will always come to the same conclusion.  And justice is a hot topic with me!)  Years ago, an adult friend of ours saw our big 3 interact for about 5 minutes and then described them to a T!  He said that Erin was the rule-maker (first-born), Liam the rule-breaker (middle kid and boy), and Maura was the rule-enforcer!  So true!  Now, does she always follow the rules?  Of course not!  But the rules are so important to her that she used to cry and cry when her daddy wanted to drop her off in the mornings at the side door of the school with the other two kids.  She knew the rule was that her age was supposed to go into the front door and even when we had permission from the principal to do so, she still was horrified at the thought of breaking that rule and getting into trouble.

Although there is some sibling rivalry, she is the one that best gets along with Aidan.  They are often playing all kinds of games together and there is lots of laughter.  Because they are both extroverts, and because she doesn’t care as much about winning as the others do, she is able to let a lot more of Aidan’s control issues go.  At the beginning, there were more issues between them because she was trying to “help” him with learning the rules, but it came across as being bossy, which she does have the tendency of doing.  When we confronted her on how much this was happening, she cried and cried because she was truly trying to do what I had asked of her (in order to keep him safe out in the snow and neighborhood, etc) and didn’t know how else to follow my instructions!

Maura is a great big sister to Eva and is always good at making little ones feel included.  A few weeks ago her 4 year old cousin Evan was visiting, and while all the other big kids were out playing ball, we found Maura and Evan just laying in the back yard chatting together.  It was so sweet!  (Pic below)  She talks of adopting in the future as well.  I don’t know what else she might do—I could see her doing medical missions or something.  But I am confident of this:  God wants to use this ordinary girl from an ordinary and imperfect family for extraordinary things!