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Ethiopia Will Break You

Neighborhood kids in Addis Ababa - © Michael Gowin

It is more noble to give yourself completely to one individual than to labor diligently for the salvation of the masses.
–Dag Hammarskjold

In the two posts I’ve written about our trip to Ethiopia this week, I’ve shared the agendas and details of our days but little of what’s taking place inside of me. Reflection takes time and I’ve been able to let some things simmer for a few days. Here’s a quick summary:

Ethiopia is killing me.

How?

The kids at the transition home. They’re kids without families. And they want families to love them. We’ve played cards with them, passed out glow sticks, bracelets and other treats. They want to sit with you (and on you), to touch you, to hold your hand. They want to be wanted.

The kids outside the transition home. Each time we pull up in the van, they’re out there–the ones I photographed above–asking for a bit of food or a toy car. They live in the crowded apartments nearby and spend their time outside in the streets. They smile and laugh and push and clamor. They want attention, too.

Solomon. He enjoys our company, smiles and laughs occasionally, but he’s also pensive, thoughtful, and lost in his own reflections at times. His Ethiopian name means “how much I see” or “how much I’ve experienced.” In his 15 years he’s endured more loss and tragedy than most. There lies a deep sadness behind his dark, gentle eyes. I hope that we can help redeem his story.

The future. My children could enjoy a more prosperous material life than me, or at least a similar life, if they go to school, work hard, seek opportunities. Same holds for most everyone who lives in America.

Not true for the majority of Ethiopians.

Much of this country’s population still lives in conditions similar to those of people living in the time of Jesus. That’s 2000 years of non-progress.

Most children here will live the same way their parents did, and their children will live the same way as well. Planting, harvesting, raising sheep or goats or donkeys or cattle, eking out a living from one season to the next. Or not.

For them, progress (or a “better life”) is less than an abstraction; it is an impossibility.

For me, Ethiopia raises more questions than answers. If Ethiopia and I were in a relationship on Facebook, I’d indicate, “It’s complicated.” This is a remarkable place with remarkable people in so many ways. And it’s a frustrating place in so many ways.

Ethiopia will break you. Break you like glass dropped on concrete.

So what do I do?

The problems here are overwhelming. And not just here: pick any third-world country and you can tell the same story.

So–I plod forward one step, one day at a time. Attempt to be faithful to simple commands.

Love the Lord your God. Love your neighbor as yourself.

Who is my neighbor? Go and do likewise.

Continue to love in this dangerous time and kick at the darkness till it bleeds daylight.

In the midst of questions and frustrations, give myself completely to the One who gave himself for me and to those whom God has entrusted to my care.

Today: take in a boy who needs a home and a father.

You?

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A Day With Our Son

Today we were privileged to have an entire day with “Big Brother.”  The other four couples had court or Embassy appointments in the morning.  One family passed Embassy, two passed court, one did not.  Please pray they will pass soon before closures, though court closures are starting remarkably late this year: Aug 22-Oct 1, which is also quite short which bodes well for adoptive families!  So during their appointments, we went to the Transition House (TH) to see our son.

We spent the day talking, sharing things we know in common, including some sign language (one of his good friends here is deaf), playing card games, looking at photos and videos on my iphone, taking photos (which he does not enjoy—gets shy and hard to talk him into smiling—but yet he wanted to take more with his friends), and laughing.  He is good at card games, loves to learn, is playful, and enjoys just sitting together watching people.  I love seeing all the things he has in common with our other kids!

We had also asked permission to take him to eat with us, and since he is a big kid, they let him though we have not yet passed court.  I wanted to take him last night to the Ethiopian restaurant with the dancing and fun, but it would have been too late.  So we will do that next trip when he gets to be with us the whole time.  (Sorry, Liam, you’ll have to “take one for the team”—all they serve there is Ethiopian food. :))  This time we went to Amsterdam Restaurant which is very good.

Then we headed back to the TH for the afternoon of more of the same, and we also got to visit the Big Kid TH where S sleeps.  We will have to pass court before we can show pics.  We passed out glow sticks to the big kids there.  (We had more than enough but still ended up with not enough, so advice to those of you yet to come, line the kids up and pass them out to make sure some little fingers are not double-dipping. :))

Though he wouldn’t admit it, I think S was tired by the end of the day, and possibly hurting.  It was good we didn’t do the late Ethiopian restaurant last night.  As I read recently, “In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.” (Prov 16:9)  As much as I really wanted to share that with him, I know S and Maura had a great time together today at the laid back lunch.  She said it was her favorite part of the day.  She and S laughed a lot!  (He has such a beautiful smile when he is not hiding from the camera!)

I can’t wait till you see in person how sweet Big Brother is.  He is so loving with all the kids, and especially with Maura.  I had heard this about him with the babies, but I was so thrilled to see it with bigger kids too.  And all the nannies and staff LOVE him.  He is so gentle and patient and helpful and thankful.  He said he hopes to do something to help other people in the future.  I have no doubt God is going to use him in a big way!  I got teary today sharing with a couple of the other moms that my biggest prayer in adopting an older boy was that he would be a great big brother to our other kids.  Though God is still writing this story that will inevitably have many ups and downs along the way, I know God heard my prayer and believe He is answering it beyond what I would have imagined.

I believe God speaks to me at times, and most often through Scripture.  Because I am a numbers girl (remember, I have a MATH degree!  I, like Jonah I guess, tried my best to run from writing and reading and speaking when I was in college!  God says, “Ha Ha! Who’s the boss?!”), sometimes my mind picks up on numbers in the Bible and wants to try to make something of them.  I truly fight it and read on quickly, but one Scripture I read wouldn’t let me pass it by because July 23 sticks with me since it is the day of our first referral phone call in 2010.  I wrote this Scripture in my journal in the middle of May, before our home study was finished, before our official referral, before our announcement, before we had any idea when we would be in Ethiopia.  (Someday I hope to share with you more of the things God has shown me through the story of David and his relationship with his son Solomon.)

“On the 23rd day of the seventh month he sent the people to their homes, joyful and glad in heart for the good things the Lord had done for David and Solomon and for his people Israel.” (2 Chron 7:10)

Somehow I knew this day, July 23, would be a special one with our son, even though at the time I had no idea I would be here with him.  (Know that I am aware that the Jews use an entirely different calendar year and please don’t take this as a license to interpret Scripture this way.  It is a totally improper hermeneutic.  I’m just telling you what I felt God revealed to me that day in May.) 

There was nothing exceptionally remarkable about today except that it was just a lovely day laughing and getting to know our son.  Well, nothing except the fact that he was born on the other side of the world just a year after Michael and I were married.  And that out of our broken and messed up lives, God is weaving this tapestry that only He could make so beautiful, imperfections and all.  Oh, and that I can truly say how much I love my son though I have only just met him.  But other than that, nothing out of the ordinary.

Thanks again for all of your encouragement and prayers for us.  Please pray as we talk with the doctor tomorrow, that we know what questions to ask so as to give us wisdom for the many doctor appointments we have ahead of us, and that we can learn more of his heart and his hurts (physical and emotional) so that we can best parent and help him grieve.  Pray also for court on Wednesday morning at 9am (Tues night 1am-ish for you) and our meeting with S’s birth father and S together.  Oh, it is going to be an emotional day.  I’m afraid I will cry more than anyone.

God is paving the way and blessing all that He has planned, but I believe your prayers are part of that plan.  We are humbled by it all.  And I am praying that God is sending you, His people Israel, home with joyful and glad hearts because of what He is doing for us all.

 

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2012 Ethiopia Adoption Trip Update #3

Traditional Ethiopian singer - Michael Gowin

We’ve spent a lot of time not sleeping since we left Illinois and it’s already 11:30 PM here now. I’m making this one quick.

It’s Sunday and we attended services this morning at the international church here with the other families staying at the guest house. Since we arrived in Addis Ababa on Thursday, four other families have joined us. We’ve had a chance to visit with all of them and continue to enjoy the path that God has set before all of us. It’s a delight to share experiences with others who are on the same journey.

Side note: Adoptive families talk about airline flights the way you talk about the weather with other folks. It’s something we all have in common. How was your flight? What airline? KLM? How was that? Lufthansa? What did you think of the Frankfort airport? Did you do the overnight in Dubai on Emirates? How many people threw up on the plane?

The international church is evangelical and (probably) Baptist in its theology. The worship is “contemporary Christian” but featured a broader range of music than what I’ve encountered in similar services in the States. Given the stark differences in culture between Ethiopia and the States, I expected the preaching to address the realities of life here; it didn’t. You could have taken this service, stuck it in any middle-class, Bible church in the Midwest and not have known the difference. Except for the congregation. It was truly “international” and featured a wide variety of Africans, Asians, Europeans, and westerners. That was cool.

After church, we visited and ate lunch together at Metro Pizza. You can get really good—I mean really good—pizza in Addis. Some of the best pizza I’ve had. Really. A few doors down we hit a Kaldi’s Coffee shop for coffee and dessert. Kaldi’s is the Starbucks of Ethiopia. It’s said that coffee was discovered in Ethiopia, a tradition to which the folks here hold fast and proud.

Maura contemplates her ice cream at Kaldi's Coffee, Addis Ababa, Ethiopia - Michael Gowin

The transition home with some time with Solomon was our next stop. Before we drove through the gate, the neighborhood boys I photographed the other day (plus another accomplice) were waiting outside. They ran up to the van and asked for some food (they’ve learned that this is a good spot to hang out). I gave them my leftover pizza and one of the other families gave them some granola bars. The expressions they wore said, “Jackpot!”

Ethiopian boys with food - Michael Gowin

We spent a couple hours with Solomon today, chatting and taking pictures. He flipped through the family photos we had on our phones and learned a little more about his brothers and sisters. We talked about some foods that he liked or didn’t like and tried to figure out his clothing sizes. Tomorrow we plan to spend most of the day together and we’re looking forward to simply being with him.

Late this afternoon we relaxed for a bit at the guest house before heading out to dinner at a traditional Ethiopian restaurant, Habesha 2000. Injera was on the menu as well as cultural music and dancing from the various areas around Ethiopia. Several diners—including a couple from our party—were invited to dance with the pros. By invited, I mean that some volunteered and others were coerced and cajoled. All were good sports nonetheless and everyone enjoyed themselves.

Dining at Habesha 2000 - Michael Gowin

After the constant to and fro since we left home, I needed today’s slower pace. We’re still getting to bed late and this is taking a toll on Maura. Hopefully we’ll get all of us in bed earlier tomorrow.

Until then, thanks for your continued prayers and support. Blessings.

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Trip to Southern Ethiopia

We saw a lot of these donkey-drawn carts on our trip
We saw a lot of these donkey-drawn carts on our trip to southern Ethiopia

 

We left early Friday morning for our trip to Woylata, 7+ hours south of Addis.  Because of lack of good sleep, issues with motion sickness, different foods, and not yet having a normal tummy after the plane trip, Maura got sick a couple times along the way.  But she is a trouper and always manages to catch it in time (we saved some bags off the plane—we are calling them “Bob” because somehow it bothers me when she asks for the “barf bag” :)), or can tell us to stop the car in time.  She bounces back pretty quickly, but please say a prayer for her if you think of it.

On the way, our guides stopped at a random home to show us the inside of a typical Ethiopian hut.  Inside we were surprised to see two donkeys eating, along with the owners’ bed and cooking area.  We gave them some money and a baby blanket as a thank you.

The purpose of our trip was to see the region where Aidan and Eva were born and where Aidan spent his first years growing up.  We wanted to take pictures for their baby books and have some context for ourselves of their background.  We didn’t know if it was going to be possible, but we were able to meet up with their birth mom (we will call her A).  Our time together was so blessed.

When we got there, A (and about a million kids) met us at the van and she and I gave each other a very long embrace.  It felt like she was letting go of 1 1/2 years of concern as she wondered how her babies were doing.  I took her eager hand and we walked to her tiny home with the translators (we have to use two to get to her language).  I felt like the Pied Piper as more and more people came out to see the “ferenges” (white people).  And all of them wondering why we came to see this not-so-highly-known young lady who does odd jobs to make ends meet and lives with her two brothers in an apartment not much bigger than most Americans’ bathrooms.

She made a place for the 8 of us to sit (Gowin 3, she and her brother, two translators, and one boy who sneaked in).  We had to leave the door open as there was no light in the room, and it was funny to see the neighbor kids inch their way in little by little.  She seemed eager, but nervous, to tell us about her life and say that she was always wondering about what kind of family the kids were in and how they were doing, so she was so happy to hear that we were coming to see her.  Evidently, AWAA has given her pictures from every post-placement report and she had those saved in a special place and showed them to us.  We brought her two small photo albums and she kissed Aidan and Eva on several of the pages.  They will be treasured.

During our conversation, she explained to us that she had been shunned in her village for having two children out of wedlock and then giving them away, so she had to move to this new village.  As we walked back to the van, with by now half the village in tow, I realized from more of her conversation that our coming to her may, in some way, be helping to redeem her story.  She went from an outcast to the most interesting person in the village because some white people made a trip all the way from the United States to see HER.  In their minds, we were celebrities, and now she must be important as well.

As we got to the van, I wanted to give her some things that would help her life.  We really are not allowed to give birth parents gifts because then it looks like we are buying children, but I thought it would be OK to give her some used things I was going to give away anyway.  I handed her two sets of towels (they were from our home—I had just put them in our luggage last minute to fill in the spaces), the princess blanket that Maura and I used in the van on the way down (surprisingly it is 50-65 degrees here now), and my sun-discolored but otherwise very useful rain boots.  (It is the rainy season here for 2-3 months and the downpours and mud make life difficult.  We each brought our boots since we heard we may need them.)

I’m not sure I will ever forget the big smile on her face as we drove away, arms full of love wrapped in a princess blanket.  Today she was the Queen.

A little ways down the road, Job, our guide, saw a market that he said he wanted to “experience.” We asked if he was sure, knowing we were going to be a disturbance.  He said he didn’t think they would pay much attention to us because it was the market, so we went with him.  If we thought we had seen all the village, well, we hadn’t.  They crowded around as we walked touching and laughing and fighting to hold our hands.  I stuck close to Princess Maura, who couldn’t smile any bigger and yet held very tight to me.  We couldn’t even make it to the market and realized we needed to go back to the van.  I wouldn’t say we were afraid—these people are all so very loving—but it was a little overwhelming.  Here’s a picture Michael made just before we got into the van showing the market crowd that gathered around us.

That night we stayed in the last room in town because of a university graduation.  When I woke at 1:00am, it was all suddenly clear to me that our room was available for a reason.  We were the last room on the top floor (only stairs to get there), we had two twin beds (Maura and I shared) that weren’t actually mattresses but box springs, and our cold porcelain toilet had no seat.  The ironies were all too clear.  We went from royalty in the small village, to the servants’ quarters at the hotel.  And yet as I lay there wide awake for a couple hours (which is not like me AT ALL), I was all too aware that even this room and bed were royal compared to the room and bed in which Queen A was staying tonight.

And as I laid in bed and listened to the rains start to come (which we had yet to see up to this point), I was aware of the fact that I was going to miss my boots tomorrow.  But with every soggy step I was going to take, I would picture proud Queen A wearing her Royal Boots as she trudged through the flood waters to find work for the day, as the others looked at her with a new esteem.

It did rain a good portion of the day as we took a different route back to Addis via Awassa, where Eva has some history.  After lunch we were fortunate that the rain stopped in time for us to take a boat ride to see some hippos “up close and personal” and feed monkeys out of our hands.  Then it was another 6-7 hours back to Addis.  Ethiopia is such a beautiful country and we truly enjoyed seeing this part of it and learning so much about it from our guide and driver.

It has been a long couple days, but so rich with memories and blessings.  We are so grateful to have had this experience.  And we are excited to see Big Brother again tomorrow and every day till we leave!  He actually has asked our guide several times (before we came) if he thought we would be willing to see his family when we come to get him on the next trip.  So though we hated to leave him just after we got there, it also gave him hope—that we would, in fact, be willing to travel and do the same with him.

We will post more about our time with “S” later, but for now we want to share some good news:  We have a positive MOWYCA letter at the court!!!  For those of you not aware of this jargon, this important piece of paper is necessary but often missing on the day of court, and then the family does not pass.  Though it still does not guarantee that we will pass, it is much more likely with this letter already there!!  Please keep up the prayers and thank you so much!!!

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2012 Ethiopia Adoption Trip Update #1

We landed in Ethiopia today and met Solomon. More on that in a few moments. First, here’s what’s happened in the last couple days.

We left Peoria on Tuesday, July 17. Our flight was supposed to depart at 7:00 AM so we were there eaaarrrrlly. Passengers and crew boarded and were ready to leave on time; however, the pilot discovered that previous day’s maintenance crew left some paperwork unfinished and we couldn’t leave until that was completed. And the maintenance people wouldn’t arrive until 8:00 AM. So we deplaned, waited, maintenance resolved the problem and we left at 8:30.

Obligatory wing shot - Michael Gowin
Obligatory wing shot – Michael Gowin

 

We arrived at Dallas (DFW) with plenty of time (but less) before our next flight, grabbed a quick lunch, then boarded. We chose to fly Emirates Airlines for this trip, which would overnight us in Dubai then bring us to Addis Ababa the next day. Because the flight to Dubai is some 16 hours and you cross 8 or 9 time zones, our 12:30 PM departure from DFW got us to Dubai the next day (July 18) at 1:00 PM. Suz and I pulled an all-nighter before we left to get stuff packed and things squared away; we were traveling toast.

Suz took a snooze while we cruised - Michael Gowin
Suz took a snooze while we cruised – Michael Gowin

 

The airport in Dubai–like most everything else there–is new, huge, and designed to impress. In the middle of the desert, Dubai is full of five-star hotels and resorts, luxury brand shopping, pricey real estate, and devoid of any pedestrian traffic during the day because it’s so stinkin’ hot. But it’s very clean and safe. We’re not really shoppers or 5-star hotel people but it was interesting to see those things. And Emirates does a fantastic job of taking care of its passengers: they put us up in a hotel, covered our meals during our stay and painlessly got us to and from the airport. The crews were also great.

We had time in the afternoon to take a two-hour taxi tour of the city as well. We stopped at a few sites including the Burj Khalifa, (currently) the world’s tallest building.

Suz and Maura outside the Burj Khalifa - Michael Gowin
Suz and Maura outside the Burj Khalifa – Michael Gowin

 

Before we left Dubai this morning, we met a couple from Montana, Brian and Danna Hopkins, at the airport who were also on an adoption trip. They’re using the same agency as we are, AWAA, and came to Ethiopia last week for their court appointment. They were in Dubai for a short getaway before returning to the States. Turns out that they’re also staying at the same guest house in Addis Ababa so we were able to visit some more and enjoyed dinner together tonight at the Zebra Grill here.

You meet the nicest people while adopting.

Maura checks out our plane in Dubai - Michael Gowin
Maura checks out our plane in Dubai – Michael Gowin

 

So we arrived at Bole International Airport in Addis Ababa early this afternoon, cleared the circus customs and baggage claim, then were met by our friend Job, one of the AWAA staff here. Job also fits into that “meeting the nicest people while adopting” category. We took a quick trip to the guest house to drop off our bags then headed over to the transition home to meet Solomon.

FedEx will get it there overnight, even in Ethiopia. - Michael Gowin
FedEx will get it there overnight, even in Ethiopia (but the trucks are a little different). – Michael Gowin

 

And that brings us to the part that you’ve probably been waiting for.

We’ve heard a lot about Solomon from AWAA friends who’ve met him. “Oh, he’s such a sweet boy!” is the most common response, followed by “I was so glad to hear he had a family!” and “We LOVED spending time with him at the transition home.”

That’s quite a reputation.

Though we’ve spent only an hour-ish with him so far, we look forward to seeing all those qualities that others have shared about him in the days and months ahead. But here are some impressions and reflections.

Solomon is very small, maybe the same height as Erin, but seems to have strong shoulders (probably from using his crutches–despite which he’s quite agile). He has strong, well-defined facial features and reminds me of a half-sized Laurence Fishburne.

He is quiet, gentle, soft-spoken but attentive and thoughtful. He appears eager to learn–we brought an English-Amharic phrase book and he was quick to sound out and read the English words. This will be a huge help to him when he transitions to his new home, culture, and schools. Though his quietness makes him appear shy he is not withdrawn. He converses easily through a translator.

Games, fixing things, and the color blue are among his favorite things. Since Aidan, Erin, and Maura all enjoy playing games and Liam enjoys building and fixing things, Solomon should fit in perfectly. 🙂

When he came out of the transition home and I hugged him, I could feel him trembling. I’m sure he was nervous and scared–who wouldn’t be? He probably has as many or more questions about us and what his life will look like as we do about him. But he warmed up as we sat and chatted, each taking turns asking questions. We joked and laughed a bit and took some pictures together. We won’t be able to show any pictures until after we pass court; please pray for that.

NOTE: what follows steps outside the narrative and approaches a sermonette. You’ve been warned.

The arrival of adoptive moms and dads always draws a crowd at the transition home, so we were surrounded by a gaggle of curious onlookers while we visited with Solomon. These kids, who are dearly loved by the same Father and who trade smiles so easily, need homes with parents who will love them. It takes a lot to do that and it’s hard.

But someone has to do it.

If not me and Suzanne then who? If not the Church then who? Who else is better equipped to love with self-sacrifice? Who else will say “yes” if not us?

Someone has to do it.

Adoption gives us a window into God’s heart. And I look forward to seeing that window open further as Solomon becomes part of our family. I believe I’m a better man, a better husband, a better father because of the insights I’ve gained through adoption. I would have missed so much if we’d not said “yes.”

Sermonette over.

We’ll be traveling outside Addis Ababa the next two days and likely won’t have Internet access. We’ll be back online as we’re able.

Thanks for following our story. I expect Suzanne will make a post with her insights and it will have much more emotional appeal than the observational/analytical angle of mine. But that’s who we are and how we work. So look forward to that.

Since we can’t post photos of Solomon yet and we can’t post photos of the other kids at the orphanage (privacy reasons), here are a couple boys we met playing outside today. Their enthusiasm is typical of what you’ll find among the children in Ethiopia.

Ethiopian boys playing in the neighborhood - Michael Gowin
Ethiopian boys playing in the neighborhood – Michael Gowin

 

It’s now 12:30 AM here. That’s all for us.

Peace and blessings.

Addition from Suzanne: BTW, don’t get too attached to “Solomon” as his name—that will be his middle name—we will have to let you know his first name later!  🙂

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Donations for Orphanages in Ethiopia

We leave for Ethiopia in a little over a week (July 17) and we would like to take some donations to the orphanages.  Since there are three of us going (Maura will come on this trip), we will have six 50# bags we can check, and we can use at least half of them for donations, so lets fill them up!  Here are some ideas if you would like to help:

  • baby wipes (only sensitive skin or unscented)—PRIORITY
  • crocs for big kids and nannies—PRIORITY
  • bath towels (not heavy)
  • toothpaste/toothbrushes
  • scrubs for nannies and nurses
  • first aid (bandages, gloves, baby/children’s Tylenol, iron drops, etc)
  • baby formula (especially lactose free: Enfamil, Similac, Parent’s Choice, Target)
  • multivitamins for babies and kids

If we receive more than we can bring on this trip, we will bring it on the next trip which will hopefully be in another two months or more.  Thanks for your continued support and prayers on this journey with us!

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Court Date: July 25!!

We finally received the long awaited call that our court date in Ethiopia has been scheduled for July 25!  We are very excited to meet our 15 year old son!  (Good thing we were married 16 years ago!  Ha ha!)

We will be leaving the US a few days early to travel to southern Ethiopia and see where Eva was born and Aidan spent his first several years.  We would like some context for us and some pictures for him.  So we will likely fly out about the 17th.

We still have quite a bit of funds to raise, so please consider visiting our Fundraising tab above so see how you can help us with that.  Most of all, please pray that we soon receive the I-171 paper we need from the US Homeland Security, and that we pass court before the two month Ethiopian court closure (due to the rainy season!) in August and September.  We want to make sure the whole process is taken care of before he turns 16 so there is no doubt whether he can come home with us!

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Sharing Our Story at JeffStreet

Suzanne and I were invited to share the story of our adoption journey at Jefferson Street Christian Church in Lincoln, IL, this morning. The service was recorded and can be viewed here:

The message/interview begins at 18:50 if you want to skip ahead. Or, if you want to sing along and watch me play guitar, don’t skip ahead.

Dustin Fulton, Jeff Street’s preaching minister, has been leading the church through a series entitled “Invisible Issues,” and today’s topic was Parentless Children. Although we attend another church in town, we’ve crossed paths with Dustin on many occasions and have friends at Jeff Street who know our story. So Dustin asked if we’d be willing to talk about our experience with Ethiopian adoption and what led up to that.

We were supposed to have shared the stage with Bill and Betsy Lewis, who have adopted from Latvia and were going to talk about their story. Bill is the worship minister at Jeff Street and Betsy heads up an orphan ministry, Woven Together, that’s based out of the church as well. Earlier in the week, in fact, Bill asked if I wanted to play guitar with him during the musical segments of the service. That’s why I’m playing at a church we don’t attend.

Sadly, however, Betsy’s mom passed away last night so they were unable to attend the service this morning. While we grieve with our friends in their loss, we trust in the hope of the resurrection. It’s that same hope that leads us forward in life and in our care of the fatherless.

Thanks to Dustin, Bill, and Betsy for inviting us to participate today. Thanks also to the many folks at Jeff Street who are taking steps to care for the widows and orphans in our midst, both near and far.

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Gowin Kid #6

What??? Did I miscount?? I thought they only had 5 kids……

Yes, well I’m pregnant……………… with a 15 year old boy! Can’t you see the glow?!  This is our first sonogram:

We have accepted the referral of a 15 yo boy from Ethiopia!  We mailed all our paperwork, and it is possible that we could even be in Ethiopia for a court date in July!  We can’t give his name until we pass court, but you can call him “Solomon” for now.  That is the Bible name I felt God give me for him 2 years ago and it will be his middle name.  Since he is older, we will let him decide if he wants an Irish name like our other kids, or if he wants to stick with his Ethiopian name.

This is a long 2.5 year story, but I will try my best to hit the highlights.  Though, as you might have noticed lately, I am not the shortest blogger. 🙂

In January of 2010, I put Liam, my then-seven year old boy, to bed one night (this was during our other adoption but we had not yet received a referral), and we prayed, as we usually did, for orphans and for our kids that would be coming.  Then he asked me this: “Mom, aren’t there older kids in the orphanage?  I mean, how do they feel when people come to get the little kids and the big kids aren’t picked even though they have been there longer?”  That question has haunted me since that night and there has not been a day gone by that I didn’t believe that God spoke to me that night “through the mouth of babes.” (I wrote an entry in my journal about this dated Jan 18, 2010.)

Ever since then I have believed that we were supposed to adopt an older boy, one who is alone (not a sibling group) and will age out of the system soon.  In Ethiopia, as with many other countries, at age 16 you are no longer adoptable and you go out to make your way in the streets.  I have watched the Waiting Child List from our agency ever since then and seen boys that fit that description come and go.  I even pursued a few of them a little, but the timing was never right.

Well, starting last fall I felt like the time was coming soon.  Then late one night on Jan 20, 2012, I felt I received a Word from God.  I was about to go to bed, pj’s on, computer closed, one last pit stop.  (Sorry, going to be honest here because I just want to show God’s sense of humor.  Yes, I was sitting in the bathroom when God spoke to me.)  I heard in my head this nonchalant question, “Hey, why don’t you check out Katie’s blog?”  It wasn’t me saying to myself, I wonder what Katie has written lately.  It was a question, directed to me–Hey comma, ___?”  I thought, “Wow. That was random.  I haven’t looked at Katie’s blog in months, but OK.”

So I went back downstairs and opened up my computer.  Katie Davis’s last entry was posted on Jan. 18.  (Did you catch it was the same date as my journal entry, exactly two years earlier?)  She talked about how God did not wait to send Jesus until we were ready and clean and had everything in order.  He enters into our mess.  HIS time is now.  (Click on the above link to see her entry—it will be worth your while.)  As I read, it was as if God was speaking straight to me.  The time is NOW, NOW, NOW.  Michael and I had just previously agreed to pray and fast during Lent (February to Easter) about adopting again, so how does this square, without me pushing?  So I asked Michael if I could just send off for paperwork from our home study agency and our international agency.  That doesn’t commit us to anything.  He agreed.

Then there was another time in February on one of our fasting days where I felt a strong urgency to get going on things and later that day got a call from our international agency who encouraged us to apply before we got ahead of ourselves.  I was setting up doctor appointments and other things that I knew we would need to have done, but again didn’t commit us to anything.  I asked Michael if we could go ahead and apply because if we were not accepted, then our prayers were in vain anyway.  We were out a little money, but again no obligation.

Then once in March, I asked a pushy question to Michael, one that came out of desperation and not trust in the God who was telling me we were going to be doing this.  I asked for Michael’s forgiveness and I vowed in my head that I would not bring up ANYTHING adoption related until the Tuesday after Easter.  Though I felt such an urgency about this, I also knew I needed to trust and respect my husband and give him the time we had agreed upon to pray about this and to process it with God himself.  Patience.  Trust.

During that one month, God bombarded me with Words from Him, and I had to keep them all to myself!  I have had a handful or two of times in the past when I have felt God speak to me in some way, and they have always come to pass, but I have NEVER had him speak to me like this, multiple times with one specific message! During this month, we were accepted into our agency, “our boy” showed up on the WCL, and God revealed to me over and over that it was this boy that was supposed to be in our family.  Through a movie, through Scripture and prayer time, through songs, through my adoptive moms retreat.  (There is enough for a whole other post that I can share once we pass court and are allowed to tell more details about our boy.)  He tied up lose ends and answered questions from years previous that had always left me wondering and not quite understanding His will.  Everything became clear to me.

So at the end of that month, I sat down with Michael and showed him all that God had shown me.  I told him that I have never been more sure of something, more sure of what God was specifically leading us to do, than I was right now.  Even of marrying him!  Yes, I believe God had a huge hand in bringing us together, and I believe it was one of the best decisions I have ever made.  But I did not necessarily get a “Word from God” to do so.  Not only am I blessed to have heard from God once about this decision, but many times through many avenues that were unmistakeably from Him.  How many times in life do we get to say that we know we are exactly in the middle of God’s will??  I am humbled.

Michael had tears as I spoke with him, as the Spirit confirmed the decision in his heart.  He asked a couple of logistical questions, and then decidedly replied, “Ok. Let’s do this.”  He is a brave man.  He is trusting “Words from God” that didn’t come to him, except through me.  He is trusting that God will continue to be faithful, as He has shown us before, though we have no promises about the future.  He is giving his bread winning pride over to God and trusting that though this looks crazy (and is crazy) on paper, that we serve and remember the God who brought the Israelites out of Egypt and parted the Red Sea.

It has taken a while to get our Home Study finalized because Illinois has more more i’s to dot and t’s to cross than most states.  While we were waiting for these items, other families from our agency were coming home from meeting their kids and several of them were talking “Solomon” up.  They said he was so sweet and so good with little kids and would be such a blessing, and not to let his physical issues with his legs or his age deter someone from pursuing him.  We were already actively pursuing him, but it was such a blessing to hear this about his personality!

This is not about us.  It is not about a burning desire I have to have 6 kids.  Or an overly emotional mentality that cries at every lost puppy and thinks that I need to save the world.  It is about a God who calls himself the Father to the Fatherless.  HE is the one who is watching over the orphan and hears their cries and answers them by putting each specific child on someone’s heart.  In our case, he put two siblings on our hearts, a boy and a girl with specific ages, and now an older boy that fits a specific profile (will explain that later), that we were supposed to go look for.  God is taking care of them, not us.  Remember how I said that God “called” me while I was in the bathroom that night, Jan 20, 2012?  Well, we found out later when we got his file that it was that exact same day that he was admitted to the transition home.  God was telling me, “He is ready now.  It’s time to start.”

Now we each can choose to obey or not obey.  And it is my fear that too often God has parents in mind that he wants to stand in the gap for the defenseless, and they have busied themselves so much that they don’t even hear God ask.  So the problem of the orphan is not that God is not working on their behalf, but often that we, his people, are not fully listening and obeying.  My adoptive mom friend Monica reminded me of this Scripture on her blog recently: “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” (Gal 6:2)  Today it is our job to carry the burden of parenting for someone else who can no longer do so, and to help a young man get the medical attention he needs and love of a family so that he can have a chance at life and love and work and family.  To have more to hope for than life on the streets without the physical ability to work and find food.

So this is where we are at this point.  Our paperwork went unusually quick and we have a finalized home study, proper paperwork sent off to Homeland Security, and our dossier (all the international paperwork) sent off and will be headed over to Ethiopia as of 6-1-12.  If all goes well, we could be there for court in July!  We will get to meet and spend time with our boy that week, and then return for our Embassy appointment to take him home hopefully a few months after that.

Please pray with us that our paperwork continues to go quickly (especially because of his age and because the Ethiopian court closes for two months during the rainy season in August and September), that “Solomon” will feel peace and joy and trust in the God who is taking care of him, and that we raise the funds necessary to travel twice very soon.  (Usually the big chunk you pay at dossier time is months or even years from the time of the referral chunk.  Ours were a day apart.  And now we will have two trips to Ethiopia very soon.)

We received word yesterday that Solomon was told he has a family and they said he was overjoyed!  He had pretty much given up hope at this point.  They said the staff and other kids at the transition home celebrated with him!  He had recently received two care packages anonymously from us, but now he will get a photo book to know more of who we are.  And we told the remaining kids here last night (we had already told the older two a month ago because they could keep a secret).  We are all excited that we will be a family of 8!  We had one more spot at our table, one more seat in our Suburban, and one more place in our home, and now they will be filled!  Please praise God and celebrate with us His everlasting grace and goodness!

 

Update:

Here are posts about the “Word from God” about Kieran’s story that I wasn’t able to share in more detail at the time: Kid 6.1 and Kid 6.2