The Past Two Days in Words and Pictures

Since we arrived in Ethiopia on Saturday night, Suz and I have been sharing the days’ events here and in bits and pieces on facebook. I’m hoping to bring everything together in some kind of summary here.

We’ve mentioned that Erin didn’t fly well on the trip here. She’s still having a difficult time catching up on sleep (at least during the night when she should be sleeping) and the lack of sleep is affecting her eating habits as well. She’s barely eaten like mouse since we arrived and we don’t want her to spiral into a worse state of sleeplessness and hunger. That said, she did very well at the transition house today, playing with Aidan and Eva as well as many of the other children there. Please continue to pray that she’ll get the rest her body needs and be able to eat to keep up her strength.

Here, Erin tries to catch up on sleep after waking up super early in the morning.  In true Ethiopian fashion, she’s covered her face for better sleep.

Suz and Erin at breakfast, though Erin is eating and enjoying little.

On the bright side, Erin and Aidan shared a wonderful moment together when they met for the first time yesterday.  Erin also got some “quality time” with Eva as well.

When we visited the transition home yesterday, we enjoyed some good time with Aidan playing cards, putting together a puzzle, and kicking soccer balls around the compound while Eva napped. He also enjoyed “writing” in Erin’s notebook.

Job, one of the AWAA staff here, is terrific with the kids–they all love him.

Yesterday was laundry day (I imagine there’s probably more than one laundry day a week at the transition home). Lines were draped around the compound with hundreds of baby- and toddler-sized socks, underpants, onesies, shirts, pants, and all manner of children’s clothes hung to waft in the warm, arid breeze.

After another night of fitful sleep(lessness?), Suz went out shopping today while Erin and I stayed back at the guest house. She wasn’t feeling well and slept; I took advantage of the quiet to read.

Two more AWAA families arrived this morning. We had lunch together then went to the transition home this afternoon to see the kids. A traditional Ethiopian coffee ceremony had been prepared for us, and these are always a treat.

We played with the kids, delivered care packages from other families, and made photos for some other families as well. We met with one of the staff nurses to get a health update on our children. Aidan is doing fine but Eva wasn’t feeling well when we arrived yesterday and has since been diagnosed with a fever. She has an upper respiratory tract infection which, frankly, is the default condition of most of the babies and toddlers.  She’s on a course of antibiotics that have to be administered via injection for the next few days. Although we would have had to travel to the transition home twice a day to have the nurse take care of this (a 20-30 minute trip one-way, depending on traffic), we met an adoptive mom staying here at the guest house who happens to be an RN. She offered to handle the injections, which will be a huge help to us.

After a group photo with adoptive friends James Smith, Scott and Rachel Miller and our kids, we piled into the van to return to the guest house. Aidan and Eva are now staying with us here and will be with us the remainder of our time in Ethiopia.

As we drove away from the transition home, Aidan was seated next to me, looking out the window, absorbing the sights. He knows he’s going to America; I wonder what he’s thinking now. That these are the last days during which he will see Addis Ababa for many years, its chaos and poverty and beauty? Does he envision America as a kind of fairytale promised land in which his dreams come true? What are his dreams? I couldn’t help but remember that, of the 5 million orphans here in Ethiopia, he and his sister are the lucky ones. They’ve won the lottery. In 2009, fewer than 2,300 Ethiopian orphans were adopted by families in the United States, and the fate of those who remain here is bleak. Many have lost at least one parent to AIDS or some other disease. Without other family members who have the resources to raise them, some—as young as five years old—will take on the responsibility of raising their younger siblings.

We arrived back at the transition home and prepared dinner. Suz had to run an errand with Eva so I cooked some ramen noodles for Erin and Aidan. Erin loves the stuff; Aidan ate a few bites but didn’t really care for it.

He ate some crackers and a slice of bread. After dinner he climbed up into a chair and gazed out the balcony window of our third floor guest house room. I sat down next to him and rubbed his back gently. He stayed there for several minutes with the same pensive look he’d worn in the van. What would we have said to each other if we shared a common language? Does he feel anxious over whether we will love him and his sister and be good parents to them? At four-and-a-half years old, would he be able to articulate his feelings of hope and expectancy, of grief and loss?

I caught a glimpse of an answer, I think, later tonight as we tried to put on his PJs after his shower. I showed Aidan the brand new outfit: a blue long-sleeved top with a handsomely embroidered friendly-looking grizzly bear and striped PJ bottoms. He looked at the shirt then wagged his finger at me and shook his head–no, I don’t want to wear that. He held the pants up, frowned disapprovingly and chucked them across the bed. I managed to get the shirt on with little resistance but he protested the pants by pitching a fit. Suz and I don’t give into fits, our other children have learned, and, well, now Aidan is one of our children as well. I held him for several minutes while he kicked his legs this way and that; slowly, though, he tired and lost momentum. In the end, there were a few, small silent tears as he surrendered and let me pull the PJ pants on, one leg at a time. I held him close and told him he was a gobez, “good boy,” and kissed him on the cheek. After another minute or two, the episode was forgotten as we happily pushed Matchbox cars back and forth to each other across the room’s hardwood floor (I hope there’s no one in the room below us; if so, I’m truly sorry).

Tomorrow we’ll have our “paperwork party” after the final two embassy couples arrive. On Wednesday, we head to the embassy to get the kids’ visas so they can enter the US. We did learn today that, thankfully, all of our paperwork has been submitted and the embassy has everything it needs (at least, as of today). Please pray that these last few pieces will fall into place so we can get on a plane next week, all five of us here. Pray also for Erin and Eva that they will feel better soon, and pray that we and Aidan will continue the slow process of learning who we are and how to trust each other. Thanks again for all of your faithful support.

2011: The Year of the Lord’s Favor

We passed over the ocean yesterday, passed into a new year, and are passing into a whole new chapter in our lives. When we got to the Guest House in Ethiopia (basically a hotel where we stay), I signed us in and was surprised to see the dates we were “arriving” and “departing”: 1-1-11 and 1-11-11.  It’s a year of firsts as well.  We are excited to see what God beholds for our family and our community!

As most of you know, there is some trepidation for this trip in that we never truly received “confirmation” of our Embassy appointment on Jan 5.  We were told there “should not be a problem” and that it happens that way sometimes (see our past blog entry).  We have to acknowledge in writing that we are taking a risk in coming, yet we still have to come or we will miss our Jan 5 appointment.  It is our choice, but do we really have one??

Then, right before we passed through airport security in Peoria on Friday, we got a call from our agency to tell us that there is another piece of paper that the Embassy wants that is in Ethiopia and “should not be a problem to get on Monday or so.”  So even more turmoil in the pit of my stomach.  I’m a pretty practical person, for the most part, and common sense tells us this is a “crazy” way to spend our time, energy, and money if we don’t even know for sure how things will go with the Embassy.  But we walked through security and got on the plane.

We flew up out of the stormy darkness (literally—that was the day we had tornadoes and 60 degree weather on New Year’s Eve!) and above the clouds into the beautiful sunshine.  I got my Bible out to continue in my reading in Isaiah at chapter 60.  I noticed that the sun was beaming through the window right onto the pages.  Then I read this:

“Arise shine, for your light has come,
and the glory of the Lord rises upon you.
See, darkness covers the earth
and thick darkness is over the peoples,
but the Lord rises upon you
and his glory appears over you.
Nations will come to your light,
and kings to the brightness of your dawn.” (Isa 60:1-3)

I thought, “Oh, that’s cool.  Thank you, God, for this special little gift of sunshine in my life, far above the storms below.”  But then I continued:

“Lift up your eyes and look about you;
All assemble and come to you;
your sons come from afar,
and your daughters are carried on the arm.
Then you will look and be radiant,
your heart will throb and swell with joy;
the wealth on the seas will be brought to you,
to you the riches of the nations will come.” (Isa 60:4-5)

Tears I wasn’t expecting came streaming down my face, as they are right now as I write this.  Who am I, that God chooses to give such specific comfort to??  Some may doubt that this was a “Word from God,” but I believe that He was reminding me of his promise that he made to me years ago and He is continuing to work out now.  He will see it through—He is forever faithful!  So I will not give in to fear or doubt him.  I will trust him, even when things don’t look like they are going like I thought they would or should.  I believe that, still in His timing, we will bring our “son home from this far land” and our “daughter in my arms”!  “Joy will radiate out of me and my heart will swell” as “many will assemble” and come to us at the airport (and later at home) after we bring our little “riches from across the seas” home forever!

Thank you, Lord for your Word of Encouragement to me!  I trust you will do YOUR will in our lives and that no one, not even government officials, can thwart your plans because, as you say at the end of this chapter in Isaiah:

“I am the Lord;
in its time I will do this swiftly.” (Isa 60:22b)

Thanks to all who are praying and following us on this journey.  May you be encouraged as well of His eternal faithfulness.  I do ask, please, that you would pray that we will find out Monday morning that all is well with the Embassy.  I will trust Him no matter what happens, but I will be able to let my heart truly live this experience better knowing that we are bringing these children home at the end of this week!  Tomorrow afternoon we are supposed to go get them and they will be with us for the remainder of our stay here in Ethiopia.  But it would hurt my heart if something went wrong with the paperwork and we were not able to keep them after they lived with us for a week!  Even if it was a matter of timing and we had to come back again, I can’t imagine how that would affect the kids, feeling abandoned once again.  So it is difficult to let my heart fully attach when there is the slightest possibility that we might not bring them home this week, and mostly difficult to think what that would do in the kids’ hearts.  I am not doubting God’s power and will, but I cannot proclaim to fully know how He will enact His will either.  Whatever happens, we pray He is glorified!

As I continued in my Isaiah reading later on another flight, it seemed fitting that I was next in Isa 61:

“The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,
because the Lord has anointed me
to preach good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners,
to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor…” (Isa 61:1-2)

I know these Holy Scriptures were written to the prophet Isaiah, not to the prophet Suzanne.  I know there is context to these verses that goes far beyond what we are doing in a small home in a little town in central Illinois.  But I also believe God’s Word is “living and active, sharper than any double-edged sword,” and it has pierced my heart throughout this journey. These are not words He has spoken only to the Gowin family.  It is clear all throughout Scripture that it is His divine will that His people lift up and care for the poor, the brokenhearted, and the prisoners, as in Isaiah 61 above.  God may or may not be calling everyone of His people to adopt orphans, but He IS calling everyone of them to feed the hungry, give water to the thirsty, invite in the strangers, clothe the needy, look after the sick, and visit and encourage prisoners who are in all types of slavery (see Matt 25:31-46).  It is my prayer that this year, 2011, will be the Year of the Lord’s Favor—that God will glorify Himself and do countless acts of justice and mercy throughout the world by working through the lives of all of His people.

We are going to get our kids!!!

Our year and a half adoption journey is coming to a close…..and the adventure is about to begin!!!

We leave in just two days (Fri, Dec 31) to fly to Ethiopia to pick up our kids and bring them home forever!!  No, we still don’t have “official confirmation” that Jan 5 is our Embassy date, but our paperwork has been submitted and we understand that “no news is good news.”  Apparently, the Embassy doesn’t always get official word back about the appointment until right before the date which, by then, is when most of the families are already on their way to Ethiopia!  So we are going in huge faith but are told by our agency that there should be no problem.  (However, we are still asked to acknowledge in our emailed flight itinerary to our agency that we know that we are taking a risk in going without confirmation….. 🙂 )  I am at peace though.  This is what I read in Scripture the morning we found out that we might not hear confirmation:

Depart, depart, go out from there!
…you who carry the vessels of the LORD.
But you will not leave in haste or go in flight;
for the LORD will go before you,
the God of Israel will be your rear guard.” (Isa 52:11-12)

The Lord is going before us and guarding us from behind, and He will protect us as we carry His “precious vessels” home!!

So please keep us in your prayers!  We fly out of Peoria, to Minneapolis, to Amsterdam, and then to Ethiopia—will arrive on Saturday and hopefully that day pick up our kids forever!  We will have our Embassy appointment on Wed, Jan 5, and pick up their visas the following Friday.  We will not leave Ethiopia till the next Tues, Jan 11 because staying a few extra days cut out a huge chunk of money for our airfare!  So we have several open days in our trip to play, visit museums or landmarks, visit orphanages, etc.  We are taking Erin, our 10-year-old daughter, with us.  This will be a life-changing experience for her and she is so excited!  She will also be a great help with the kids.

One other great thing about this trip is that we will get to celebrate Ethiopian Christmas with all the kids at the Transition Home on Friday Jan 7!  The other families (Smith, Hammons, Miller, Grant) and us were asked to bring Christmas decorations and stocking stuffers.  Though we were initially disappointed not to have our kids home for Christmas, we are so excited to spend Ethiopian Christmas with Aidan and Eva in their own homeland!

Our KLM/Delta flights are scheduled to get in to Peoria on Wed, Jan 12 at 3:50pm.  Our friend Gena Monical-Ruhl has graciously offered to drive the Mt. Pulaski Christian Church bus to come pick us up and bring friends and family to the airport to meet us!  So if you are interested in joining us on that glorious day, please contact me (sgowin@gmail.com) before we leave or Chantell Mills (chantellmills@gmail.com) after that.  The bus will be at our home at 2:15pm that day to gather people for the trip.  There will be some spots open on the bus, or others can meet at our home and caravan or go straight to the airport.

Thanks to everyone who has followed us, prayed for us, given to us, encouraged us, and loved on us through this long journey!  You are such a blessing!  Our biggest prayer is that God is glorified through His work in our lives and that many others are able to experience His amazing grace and redemption in their own lives as well!

“Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by name; you are mine.” (Isa 43:1)

Waiting on an Embassy Date

Waiting... © 2010 Michael Gowin

If there is anything predictable about the unpredictable journey to international adoption, it’s the waiting. While there is a prescribed path to follow—paperwork, homestudy, dossier submission, referral, court, embassy—there is no consistent timeline. After you pass one step, you learn that you’ll have a wait before you reach the next one. How long? Anybody’s guess.

Since we passed court a couple weeks ago, we’ve been waiting to learn of our assigned embassy date. It’s at that point that we’ll travel to Ethiopia again to get visas for the kids and bring them home. We’re expecting to receive word on that today or tomorrow. While we’d hoped to have an embassy date at the end of December, it’s now more likely that we’ll travel at the beginning of January. There are pros and cons to both scenarios but the waiting is hard nonetheless.

In the meantime, friends have asked how they can help. Here are a few suggestions:

Pray for us – Pray that we’re able to coordinate flights and get tickets when we need them, hopefully with seats together on the planes.

Pray for the kids – Pray that Erin, Eva, and Aidan will be healthy while we travel. Pray that they will adapt to their new lives here in the States and that they will feel welcomed and loved by their new family. Pray that Liam and Maura will do well with Grandma while we’re gone.

Pray for our friends – One of the families with whom we traveled, the Flemings, passed embassy today and will be traveling home with their new son. Two other families, the Smiths and the Laughners, learned that they passed court today and are also waiting for an embassy date. As I’m writing this, the Davidsons are still waiting for word on passing court. UPDATE: the Davidsons did not pass court today; still waiting on their MOWA letter. Please pray that these families’ cases will move through the system in Ethiopia so that God’s will may be done.

Give toward our expenses – We will likely spend around $10,000 (or more) on airfare and travel for our next trip to Ethiopia. If you’d like to help us with that, you can make a tax-deductible contribution on our behalf to Lifesong for Orphans. Please make checks out to Lifesong for Orphans with “preference Gowin #1206 adoption” in the memo and send them to:

Lifesong for Orphans
PO Box 40/202 N. Ford St.
Gridley, IL 61744

Lifesong can also accept contributions through PayPal if that’s easier. On the Lifesong donation page, scroll down and click the yellow Donate button. Remember to indicate “preference Gowin #1206 adoption” in the “Purpose” field on the PayPal form.

If you’re not concerned about the tax break, you can write us a check or contribute directly through PayPal by clicking the yellow Donate button below the puzzle pieces in the sidebar to the right.

Give a gift to help orphans and others in need – Consider giving a gift to Lifesong to help other families adopt. World Vision, an organization which we’ve supported for over 15 years, publishes a gift catalog that allows you to choose how your contribution will be used. Our family looks forward to this every year (I’ll have a post about this soon).

Thank you again for your continued interest in us and our family. We’re grateful for the ways God has blessed us through the many of you who’ve prayed, encouraged, and supported us on this journey. We hope to have news of our embassy date shortly and will share that with you all as soon as we can.

Gowin family

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Jesus has AIDS

So writes Russell Moore today (World AIDS Day) in a thought-provoking post:

Jesus loves the world, and the world has AIDS. Jesus identifies himself with the least of these, and many of them have AIDS. Jesus calls us to recognize him in the depths of suffering, and there’s AIDS there too.

World Vision is doing good work in this area. Richard Stearns, CEO of World Vision, also takes up the topic in his book The Hole in Our Gospel.

NB: Moore has also written an excellent book on adoption.

We passed court!

AWAA called today with news that we passed court: “They are yours!” We can now share the video and photos we’ve held in the vault for the past few weeks. Enjoy! Please keep praying for a December embassy date. We’ll have more pictures to share soon.

Between the Testaments

No, we don’t have any new news about our paperwork, but I did want to share some of my personal reflections now so that God can be glorified when all is fulfilled.

To be honest, I haven’t been very worried during most of this journey.  I have known that I can trust my God who has led us this far, and I trust His timing and His provision.  Until now.  It’s actually really bugging me that I am letting a little thing (a very common thing, actually) like not passing court the first time, bother me.  But here are my honest worries:

  • that we won’t pass in time to get the kids home before Christmas
  • if/when we do pass, we will have such a short time to get flights that we won’t be able to sit together with our new kids (plus Erin) on the long flight home (not to mention the 3x cost of airfare at Christmas!)—you know, a mommy needs to keep all her little chickadees safe under her wings!
  • that we won’t pass at all—feeling forgotten by the social agency that was supposed to have written the last piece we need to pass court (the same agency that has written numerous other letters since our court date)

I know in my head that God has it all under control, that His timing is best, that He is powerful enough to take care of a piece of paper and some plane tickets, and that this is HIS story to write, not ours.  I KNOW it.  But I’ve had a hard time letting go of the control (that I don’t have anyway!) and letting my heart be OK with that.

This week God has been impressing some things on me that have helped me to let go.

  • Last Sunday we sang a song at church that reminded me that God has “overcome.”  He has already “breathed” this story, intended somehow for His glory, and we are simply His ink, writing it down.
  • Rom 8:28: An oldie but goodie—“And we know that IN ALL THINGS God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”
  • Gen 22: In faith, Abraham obeyed God and took his only son Isaac, the one through whom God had promised blessing to all subsequent generations, to sacrifice him on the mountain.  When Isaac asked where the lamb was for the burnt offering, Abraham answered, “The Lord will provide.”  God took Abraham down to the wire before he stopped Abraham from sacrificing Isaac and provided a ram instead.  Abraham renamed that place “The Lord Will Provide”—a phrase that later became an important name for God.
  • Dan 3 (from church today): Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego knew they would be thrown into the fiery furnace if they did not worship the statue as the King ordered, but this was their response: “If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us from your hand, O king.  But even if he does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.”

So it finally sunk in to my heart today.  My God WILL rescue and deliver our children to us, in His timing and by His method.  But if He does not (worst case scenario), I will still trust in His faithfulness and redemption and will trust Him with my life and my heart.  To quote a song from today, whether “the sun is shining down on me” or I’m a “road marked with suffering,” “I will choose to say: Blessed be Your Name!”

In my Beth Moore study of Esther this week, she providentially reminded me, “God’s plan for Israel hadn’t fallen through the cracks between Testaments.”  During the time between the OT and the NT when God seemed silent, He was, in fact, doing a major work behind the scenes to prepare the world for His most glorious work—the birth of His Son!  Similarly, during this silence between our two trips to Ethiopia, it is easy to wonder if God has forgotten us and our court issues.  But I truly now KNOW that even in His silence, I can trust that He is preparing a glorious work for us—the adoption of our son and daughter!  Hold on tight, Babes, “God Will Provide” is providing a way!

What are you waiting for?

David DuChemin, a photographer and writer whose work I admire, reflected yesterday on the brevity of life and choosing what’s important. This is a theme that’s been coming up frequently for me in the last several weeks. Francis Chan discusses it in his book Crazy Love (which I’ve mentioned recently) and it’s an idea that comes up repeatedly in the Bible:

As for man, his days are like grass,
he flourishes like a flower of the field;
the wind blows over it and it is gone,
and its place remembers it no more. (Psalm 103.15-16)

Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. (James 4.13-14)

It’s a thought that arose while we were in Ethiopia last week as well. Much of the time I’m oblivious to the reality that my time here is short. Being uprooted from normal routines in a vastly different culture on the other side of the world, however, affords one some opportunities for reflection and focus.

To be honest, the past 15 months of the adoption process have been hard on me. Adding two children to our family—at once—brings with it some significant uncertainties. How will they fit in with our family? Will they bond with us? Do we have enough space for them? Can we afford the expenses of adoption, much less the food, clothes, vehicles, home maintenance, and the thousand other attendant things that go along with a household of seven? What will our family and friends think of us and our decision? Do I have what it takes to be a father to five children? What if…? I could fill a dump truck with the “what ifs” and doubts that have crossed my mind in the last year and a half.

All of these doubts have a common origin: fear and unbelief. I’m afraid that I don’t have what it takes to get things done and I don’t believe that God will come through. Why? Maybe because I live in a setting that requires so little faith. Jesus told his followers to ask God for daily bread; I have a kitchen full of food, an adequate salary with which to buy more, and a grocery store a few miles from my house. Jesus said that birds have nests and foxes have holes but he had no place to lie down for a nap; I have a very nice home. If I get sick, I have access to hospitals and doctors. If I die, a life insurance policy will provide for my family’s financial needs for years after I’m gone. I’m grateful for all of these things but where is there room for me to depend on God? Where has God had opportunity to work his strength in my weakness? Billions of people in the world live without these safety nets; I’m not one of them and neither are most of the people who live in America, Canada, or Europe.

While the adoption process has been hard, it has stretched me and helped me grow. It has taken me past what I know and forced me to do things I wouldn’t do. I like my life and family here in central Illinois just fine, thank you, but now I’m seeing beyond the corn and bean fields that surround us. I’m not a huge fan of travel but I had to fly over land and sea to attend court and meet our children in Ethiopia. Each day in Ethiopia put me on someone else’s agenda, not my own. This has been good and is helping me to learn trust and faith. These are lessons I’m not sure I’d have learned another way.

We don’t get many opportunities to do life-changing things for others. Or maybe we do but we don’t do them or fail to see them. Either way, if our time here is truly short then what we do or don’t do matters all the more.

I’ve dragged my feet through the past several months, to my own shame. Having been in-country, though, and having spent time with the children—and not just ours, but those of the other adoptive families as well as dozens upon dozens of children waiting for families of their own—God has opened my eyes and my heart. We are doing something that matters to these two children and to their mom who so wishes she could support and raise them but loves them enough to let them go. It is an incredible trust she is placing in us and I want to honor that trust.

So we, the Gowins, walk into the unfamiliar, into uncertainty, leaving behind a portion of the life we’ve known, a life that is comfortable and befits us. But we walk in faith in a way that we have not known, and with that has come an unusual peace as well. I’m looking forward to having our children, all of our children, here with us at home.

Fear and uncertainty have held me back but I’m moving forward. If we are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes, what’s holding you back? What are you waiting for?

(*note from Suzanne: Now, please also go back up and click on that David DuChemin link that you passed over.  It’s worth your time. )

Home

Just a quick note to say that Suz and I are back home in the States. Looking forward to picking up our first three children from school in a few minutes. Long day of travel, bittersweet goodbyes yesterday but a good and blessed week overall. More to come. Thanks to all for your faithful love and prayers.