No, we don’t have any new news about our paperwork, but I did want to share some of my personal reflections now so that God can be glorified when all is fulfilled.
To be honest, I haven’t been very worried during most of this journey. I have known that I can trust my God who has led us this far, and I trust His timing and His provision. Until now. It’s actually really bugging me that I am letting a little thing (a very common thing, actually) like not passing court the first time, bother me. But here are my honest worries:
- that we won’t pass in time to get the kids home before Christmas
- if/when we do pass, we will have such a short time to get flights that we won’t be able to sit together with our new kids (plus Erin) on the long flight home (not to mention the 3x cost of airfare at Christmas!)—you know, a mommy needs to keep all her little chickadees safe under her wings!
- that we won’t pass at all—feeling forgotten by the social agency that was supposed to have written the last piece we need to pass court (the same agency that has written numerous other letters since our court date)
I know in my head that God has it all under control, that His timing is best, that He is powerful enough to take care of a piece of paper and some plane tickets, and that this is HIS story to write, not ours. I KNOW it. But I’ve had a hard time letting go of the control (that I don’t have anyway!) and letting my heart be OK with that.
This week God has been impressing some things on me that have helped me to let go.
- Last Sunday we sang a song at church that reminded me that God has “overcome.” He has already “breathed” this story, intended somehow for His glory, and we are simply His ink, writing it down.
- Rom 8:28: An oldie but goodie—“And we know that IN ALL THINGS God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”
- Gen 22: In faith, Abraham obeyed God and took his only son Isaac, the one through whom God had promised blessing to all subsequent generations, to sacrifice him on the mountain. When Isaac asked where the lamb was for the burnt offering, Abraham answered, “The Lord will provide.” God took Abraham down to the wire before he stopped Abraham from sacrificing Isaac and provided a ram instead. Abraham renamed that place “The Lord Will Provide”—a phrase that later became an important name for God.
- Dan 3 (from church today): Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego knew they would be thrown into the fiery furnace if they did not worship the statue as the King ordered, but this was their response: “If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us from your hand, O king. But even if he does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.”
So it finally sunk in to my heart today. My God WILL rescue and deliver our children to us, in His timing and by His method. But if He does not (worst case scenario), I will still trust in His faithfulness and redemption and will trust Him with my life and my heart. To quote a song from today, whether “the sun is shining down on me” or I’m a “road marked with suffering,” “I will choose to say: Blessed be Your Name!”
In my Beth Moore study of Esther this week, she providentially reminded me, “God’s plan for Israel hadn’t fallen through the cracks between Testaments.” During the time between the OT and the NT when God seemed silent, He was, in fact, doing a major work behind the scenes to prepare the world for His most glorious work—the birth of His Son! Similarly, during this silence between our two trips to Ethiopia, it is easy to wonder if God has forgotten us and our court issues. But I truly now KNOW that even in His silence, I can trust that He is preparing a glorious work for us—the adoption of our son and daughter! Hold on tight, Babes, “God Will Provide” is providing a way!