Life has pretty much gotten away from us, at least when it comes to updating this site. Michael is back at work (after being on sabbatical last fall) and Suzanne is working hard to finish her master’s thesis. Oh—and we have five kids here now. But we did celebrate a milestone today: Eva’s first birthday. Our friend Emmary brought over two of her children, Ella and Eli, to join in some fun with Eva and Aidan. Later this evening, Eva shared her cake with the family. Here are a few photos from the day.
Soccer Stars
So… we’ve got a lot of catching up to do here. Since we arrived back in the States on January 13, we’ve had Eva to the doctor for no less than four visits as well as a four-day stay in the hospital. She left Ethiopia with a fever which led to a diagnosis of pneumonia the day after we arrived here. She’s had three different oral antibiotics as well as antibiotics administered via IV during her hospital stay. After coming home from the hospital this past Monday night, the fever returned today. We knew we’d have our share of crazy once we took on five children but this has been somewhat unanticipated. At any rate, we press on and hope for some new insight from the docs this week.
On a more pleasant note, the other four kids have been playing indoor soccer the last two Saturdays. Although Aidan turns 5 in April, we signed him up to play with the 6 year-olds on Maura’s team since we figured his skills would probably put him beyond the younger kids. After he scored three goals and dominated the first game (Maura also scored a goal in that game), however, the league coordinator felt it would be good to bump him up to the next age bracket. So now he’s playing on Liam’s team with the 7-8 year-olds. How did he do today? Aidan and Liam’s team scored five goals to the other team’s zero; Aidan had two goals and one assist while Liam also had two goals. Aidan’s assist, actually, was a pass to Liam—sweet. Aidan’s soccer chops have become quite the buzz here and it was great fun to watch the boys play together.
Vignette: What Would We Be?
Last night, Liam was engaged in a destruction project: he was attempting to take apart a remote controlled car that was no longer working. The two main screws that held the top of the car together, though, were giving him difficulty so he came to me.
“Dad, do you think you can get these screws out?”
I wrestled with it for a few moments and loosened them.
“Wow–Grandma and mom tried and they couldn’t do it.”
“Well it’s a good thing you have a dad then, isn’t it?”
“Yeah,” he said. “I don’t know what I’d be without you.”
“Right back at you, bud,” I replied.
He smiled, then returned to dismantling his car.
Just a Few Things from Addis Ababa
This isn’t really a post, just a collection of observations and thoughts from the past few days.
Aidan really likes the shower—I think he had his first shower ever here at the guest house. He squeals with delight in the falling water.
Aidan also had his first hamburger and ice cream here. When he first tasted the ice cream, he was surprised that it was cold but then discovered the taste. Brilliant. Today, after a huge bite of ice cream, he had his first “brain freeze.”
Eva is bonding well with Suzanne. It’s amazing that after just a few days, Eva has identified her as mommy—the one woman in her world who will love and care for her like no other. (And yet my heart breaks for the woman who gave her life and is unable to be Eva’s mommy.)
We’re recognizing that the transition home children are accustomed to being independent. That said, Aidan is adapting well to the new routines he’s learning as a member of our family. Although we need to correct him occasionally, we spend the days playing games, running around Addis, eating together, hanging out with the other families at the guest house. He’s learning, I hope, that we love him and that he can trust us.
Erin is a huge help here. She plays with Aidan and enjoys holding Eva. She and Aidan got into a giggling fit over dinner in our room today—it’s fun to watch them growing together. She’s also seeing and experiencing life the way most of the rest of the world lives, and I know this will have a deep impact on her.
The Coca-Cola here is made with sugar instead of HFCS. It’s the real thing.
We worshiped at an international church here in Addis today—young and old, Ethiopians, Germans, Britons, Americans, South Koreans, Australians, and all manner of other Africans, Europeans, and Asians. Beautiful to be gathered among brothers and sisters of every nation and generation.
As we were just about to leave our room at the guest house to get in the van for church, Aidan grabbed his backpack, looked at me expectantly and said, “Amereeka?” No, I said, but soon. Very soon.
Being here with the other AWAA families—Scott and Rachel Miller, James Smith, Eric and Billie Grant, and Courtney Hammons—and their kids has been a fantastic experience. The kids have had time to play together at the guest house, easing their transition from their life here to their new lives with our families. When we left Addis yesterday for a day trip and I forgot Eva’s diaper bag (with diapers, clothes, and bottles of formula), James shared an extra bottle he’d packed and the Millers gave us a diaper. What could have been a disaster (there’s no Wal-Mart in rural Ethiopia) turned into an opportunity for us to bless one another. Saying goodbye as they return to their homes in the US has been hard; good, but hard. James and his son Phin blew us kisses from the van tonight as they left for the airport.
I read Proverbs 3.27 this morning: Never walk away from someone who deserves help; your hand is God’s hand for that person. We walked through the neighborhood around the guest house today and bought a couple pounds of fresh oranges at a small grocery store (for about 90 cents, no less). We then passed an old woman shuffling along the sidewalk, begging for money from passersby. Erin handed her one of the oranges we’d just bought. Your hand is God’s hand for that person. A couple blocks down, just as we were about to cross the street to return to the guest house, two young urchins in dirty clothes walked up with smiles and outstretched hands. Erin gave them each an orange; as they turned to walk away, we noticed that the older of the two, a girl of no more than 10, had a baby strapped to her back. Your hand is God’s hand for that person. We entered the gate at the guest house and a cheerful little boy who lives in the neighborhood waved to us. I sent Erin back out with an orange for him, which he received with gratitude. Your hand is God’s hand for that person.
We can’t fix every problem in the world or even in this small corner of Addis Ababa we’re in right now. But God calls us to make life better for those who deserve help, so we do what we can. Maybe it’s a few dollars (or a lot of dollars) here or there, maybe an orange for a hungry person on the street, sponsoring a child, or caring for an orphan.
Your hand is God’s hand for that person.
Embassy Passed, Travel Docs in Hand, Ethiopian Christmas
Yesterday we announced on facebook that we’d passed embassy. After clearing security at the embassy, we and three other AWAA families had a short wait then met one-by-one with the official who handles adoption cases. Suz, Erin, and I raised our right hands and swore that our responses to his questions would be true, then were asked a few questions about ourselves and Aidan and Eva. The interview took only a few minutes and the final step of our adoption journey was complete. Today, the AWAA staff visited the embassy to pick up the passports and immigration documents for the children and delivered them to us at the guest house. We are, as the kids say, “good to go.” We’ve got a few days left before our departure, though, so we’ll visit some nearby special places and report on those as we’re able.
And, as it so happens, tomorrow is Christmas in Ethiopia so tonight we visited the transition home for a big Christmas Eve party. Although we can’t post photos of the kids, we had a terrific time. We and some of the other families brought fun items specifically for the party: Santa hats, Micky Mouse ears, flashing Christmas lights, decorations, and gifts for the kids. The 40-ish kids there played games, sang songs, visited with Santa, and performed the best Christmas pageant we’d ever seen—it was even done in English! We were so grateful to have been here for this—it was a wonderful blessing to celebrate Christmas Eve with the kids and staff.
The Past Two Days in Words and Pictures
Since we arrived in Ethiopia on Saturday night, Suz and I have been sharing the days’ events here and in bits and pieces on facebook. I’m hoping to bring everything together in some kind of summary here.
We’ve mentioned that Erin didn’t fly well on the trip here. She’s still having a difficult time catching up on sleep (at least during the night when she should be sleeping) and the lack of sleep is affecting her eating habits as well. She’s barely eaten like mouse since we arrived and we don’t want her to spiral into a worse state of sleeplessness and hunger. That said, she did very well at the transition house today, playing with Aidan and Eva as well as many of the other children there. Please continue to pray that she’ll get the rest her body needs and be able to eat to keep up her strength.
Here, Erin tries to catch up on sleep after waking up super early in the morning. In true Ethiopian fashion, she’s covered her face for better sleep.
Suz and Erin at breakfast, though Erin is eating and enjoying little.
On the bright side, Erin and Aidan shared a wonderful moment together when they met for the first time yesterday. Erin also got some “quality time” with Eva as well.
When we visited the transition home yesterday, we enjoyed some good time with Aidan playing cards, putting together a puzzle, and kicking soccer balls around the compound while Eva napped. He also enjoyed “writing” in Erin’s notebook.
Job, one of the AWAA staff here, is terrific with the kids–they all love him.
Yesterday was laundry day (I imagine there’s probably more than one laundry day a week at the transition home). Lines were draped around the compound with hundreds of baby- and toddler-sized socks, underpants, onesies, shirts, pants, and all manner of children’s clothes hung to waft in the warm, arid breeze.
After another night of fitful sleep(lessness?), Suz went out shopping today while Erin and I stayed back at the guest house. She wasn’t feeling well and slept; I took advantage of the quiet to read.
Two more AWAA families arrived this morning. We had lunch together then went to the transition home this afternoon to see the kids. A traditional Ethiopian coffee ceremony had been prepared for us, and these are always a treat.
We played with the kids, delivered care packages from other families, and made photos for some other families as well. We met with one of the staff nurses to get a health update on our children. Aidan is doing fine but Eva wasn’t feeling well when we arrived yesterday and has since been diagnosed with a fever. She has an upper respiratory tract infection which, frankly, is the default condition of most of the babies and toddlers. She’s on a course of antibiotics that have to be administered via injection for the next few days. Although we would have had to travel to the transition home twice a day to have the nurse take care of this (a 20-30 minute trip one-way, depending on traffic), we met an adoptive mom staying here at the guest house who happens to be an RN. She offered to handle the injections, which will be a huge help to us.
After a group photo with adoptive friends James Smith, Scott and Rachel Miller and our kids, we piled into the van to return to the guest house. Aidan and Eva are now staying with us here and will be with us the remainder of our time in Ethiopia.
As we drove away from the transition home, Aidan was seated next to me, looking out the window, absorbing the sights. He knows he’s going to America; I wonder what he’s thinking now. That these are the last days during which he will see Addis Ababa for many years, its chaos and poverty and beauty? Does he envision America as a kind of fairytale promised land in which his dreams come true? What are his dreams? I couldn’t help but remember that, of the 5 million orphans here in Ethiopia, he and his sister are the lucky ones. They’ve won the lottery. In 2009, fewer than 2,300 Ethiopian orphans were adopted by families in the United States, and the fate of those who remain here is bleak. Many have lost at least one parent to AIDS or some other disease. Without other family members who have the resources to raise them, some—as young as five years old—will take on the responsibility of raising their younger siblings.
We arrived back at the transition home and prepared dinner. Suz had to run an errand with Eva so I cooked some ramen noodles for Erin and Aidan. Erin loves the stuff; Aidan ate a few bites but didn’t really care for it.
He ate some crackers and a slice of bread. After dinner he climbed up into a chair and gazed out the balcony window of our third floor guest house room. I sat down next to him and rubbed his back gently. He stayed there for several minutes with the same pensive look he’d worn in the van. What would we have said to each other if we shared a common language? Does he feel anxious over whether we will love him and his sister and be good parents to them? At four-and-a-half years old, would he be able to articulate his feelings of hope and expectancy, of grief and loss?
I caught a glimpse of an answer, I think, later tonight as we tried to put on his PJs after his shower. I showed Aidan the brand new outfit: a blue long-sleeved top with a handsomely embroidered friendly-looking grizzly bear and striped PJ bottoms. He looked at the shirt then wagged his finger at me and shook his head–no, I don’t want to wear that. He held the pants up, frowned disapprovingly and chucked them across the bed. I managed to get the shirt on with little resistance but he protested the pants by pitching a fit. Suz and I don’t give into fits, our other children have learned, and, well, now Aidan is one of our children as well. I held him for several minutes while he kicked his legs this way and that; slowly, though, he tired and lost momentum. In the end, there were a few, small silent tears as he surrendered and let me pull the PJ pants on, one leg at a time. I held him close and told him he was a gobez, “good boy,” and kissed him on the cheek. After another minute or two, the episode was forgotten as we happily pushed Matchbox cars back and forth to each other across the room’s hardwood floor (I hope there’s no one in the room below us; if so, I’m truly sorry).
Tomorrow we’ll have our “paperwork party” after the final two embassy couples arrive. On Wednesday, we head to the embassy to get the kids’ visas so they can enter the US. We did learn today that, thankfully, all of our paperwork has been submitted and the embassy has everything it needs (at least, as of today). Please pray that these last few pieces will fall into place so we can get on a plane next week, all five of us here. Pray also for Erin and Eva that they will feel better soon, and pray that we and Aidan will continue the slow process of learning who we are and how to trust each other. Thanks again for all of your faithful support.
Waiting on an Embassy Date
If there is anything predictable about the unpredictable journey to international adoption, it’s the waiting. While there is a prescribed path to follow—paperwork, homestudy, dossier submission, referral, court, embassy—there is no consistent timeline. After you pass one step, you learn that you’ll have a wait before you reach the next one. How long? Anybody’s guess.
Since we passed court a couple weeks ago, we’ve been waiting to learn of our assigned embassy date. It’s at that point that we’ll travel to Ethiopia again to get visas for the kids and bring them home. We’re expecting to receive word on that today or tomorrow. While we’d hoped to have an embassy date at the end of December, it’s now more likely that we’ll travel at the beginning of January. There are pros and cons to both scenarios but the waiting is hard nonetheless.
In the meantime, friends have asked how they can help. Here are a few suggestions:
Pray for us – Pray that we’re able to coordinate flights and get tickets when we need them, hopefully with seats together on the planes.
Pray for the kids – Pray that Erin, Eva, and Aidan will be healthy while we travel. Pray that they will adapt to their new lives here in the States and that they will feel welcomed and loved by their new family. Pray that Liam and Maura will do well with Grandma while we’re gone.
Pray for our friends – One of the families with whom we traveled, the Flemings, passed embassy today and will be traveling home with their new son. Two other families, the Smiths and the Laughners, learned that they passed court today and are also waiting for an embassy date. As I’m writing this, the Davidsons are still waiting for word on passing court. UPDATE: the Davidsons did not pass court today; still waiting on their MOWA letter. Please pray that these families’ cases will move through the system in Ethiopia so that God’s will may be done.
Give toward our expenses – We will likely spend around $10,000 (or more) on airfare and travel for our next trip to Ethiopia. If you’d like to help us with that, you can make a tax-deductible contribution on our behalf to Lifesong for Orphans. Please make checks out to Lifesong for Orphans with “preference Gowin #1206 adoption” in the memo and send them to:
Lifesong for Orphans
PO Box 40/202 N. Ford St.
Gridley, IL 61744
Lifesong can also accept contributions through PayPal if that’s easier. On the Lifesong donation page, scroll down and click the yellow Donate button. Remember to indicate “preference Gowin #1206 adoption” in the “Purpose” field on the PayPal form.
If you’re not concerned about the tax break, you can write us a check or contribute directly through PayPal by clicking the yellow Donate button below the puzzle pieces in the sidebar to the right.
Give a gift to help orphans and others in need – Consider giving a gift to Lifesong to help other families adopt. World Vision, an organization which we’ve supported for over 15 years, publishes a gift catalog that allows you to choose how your contribution will be used. Our family looks forward to this every year (I’ll have a post about this soon).
Thank you again for your continued interest in us and our family. We’re grateful for the ways God has blessed us through the many of you who’ve prayed, encouraged, and supported us on this journey. We hope to have news of our embassy date shortly and will share that with you all as soon as we can.
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A few more photos from our adoption court trip
I’ve added a new gallery on our Photo page with some of the photos shown in the video on the previous post. Here are just a few of the images.
We passed court!
AWAA called today with news that we passed court: “They are yours!” We can now share the video and photos we’ve held in the vault for the past few weeks. Enjoy! Please keep praying for a December embassy date. We’ll have more pictures to share soon.
A less-than-typical Thanksgiving
On a typical Thanksgiving holiday, we’ll spend the day with family—whether at our home, my mom’s, or my brother’s—and eat, watch some football, eat some more, maybe play a game, and eat. Just like most of our friends. This year we mixed it up a bit.
The local Salvation Army was serving a Thanksgiving meal at the Knights of Columbus hall for anyone who wanted a meal, no charge. A friend from our church was leading this effort and seeking volunteers so we signed up to help. Suzanne and the kids waited tables and I washed dishes in the kitchen from 12:30 – 2:30 this afternoon. We chose to postpone our own dinner (or “feast” as Maura called it) until after we’d finished, and we all gave up eating a mid-day meal as a way to remember and identify with those who had no food today. This was a good lesson for the kids, especially Liam and Maura since it was the first time they had voluntarily gone without a meal. They were reluctant to join in at first; Maura, who is our resident foodie, wasn’t sure she’d be able to skip a meal—but she did and she did well. Once back home we gave thanks and feasted.
Also less-than-typical is that our family includes two members who are on the other side of the world for this holiday. Brenda Fleming, one of the other AWAA adoptive parents we met while in Ethiopia, was at the transition home with Aidan and Eva today and sent us a few dozen photos of the kids–this was a great gift. Suzanne mentioned the other day that we’re back to a period of waiting in our adoption process. Our paperwork, along with that of three other families, is supposed to go before the judge in Ethiopia again tomorrow and we’re praying that everything is in order so that we’ll pass court. We’d love to be able to share that announcement of thanksgiving this weekend and would appreciate your prayers to that end.
We hope you’ve had a blessed Thanksgiving as well. We truly have much for which to be grateful.
Note on the photo: these creative desserts were designed by Lee Barnes, a retired industrial engineer who resides in Lincoln. He delivered them to the Salvation Army dinner today and took the time to share with Suzanne the loving and painstaking process by which he creates them. The ingredients include chocolate sandwich cookies, candy corns, a Whopper (not the hamburger kind), frosting, and a red hot.